Sharp Secrets
by Seijuku Ceremony
Summary: Soul Eater Evans has some self destructive tendencies. ALOT of self destructive tendencies. Along with this comes a lot of secrets. Black Star, in all his 'greater than god' glory, is taken down a notch when he discovers what his seemingly normal best friend does and why he does it. Black Star x Soul (StarSoul) Yaoi Rape Depression Trigger warning
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Sharp Secrets**

**Authors: A Cannibalistic Skittle(Original Author) and Seijuku Ceremony(Co-Author)**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Self-Harm, cursing, gore, and possible future smut**

**Pairing: Black Star x Soul (SoulStar)**

**Disclaimer: None of us own Soul Eater which probably would have been the best gift of our lives. But it ended and out came Soul Eater NOT. Bleh.**

**Author's Notes: This story was origated from A Cannibalistic Skittle and I decided to continue it. The first four chapters are done by A Cannibalistic Skittle and I didn't change the story at all. I hope to do well to the end! ^^**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Soul Eater Evans has some self destructive tendencies. Or, should I say, a LOT of self destructive tendencies. Along with this comes a lot of secrets. Black Star, in all his 'greater than god' glory, is taken down a notch when he discovers what his seemingly normal best friend has been doing to himself. WARNINGS: Slash, self harm, possibly triggering, smut in later chapters

There was only one thing Soul hated more than himself.

His scars.

Self inflicted, his arms had seen years of pain. His whole body had seen his pain.

Nothing, though, more than his mind.

If you could ever guess what he felt in a moment like this, you wouldn't want to ever look him in the face again. The pain, the hate, the passion... It was a disturbing sight. In a time like this, his arm dangling from his lap, onto the hard tile floor, the blood smeared clothes and skin, the vacant, empty eyes, void of any emotion. The only thing Soul felt was the pain, but it wasn't enough. The pain from his arm was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He knew his own self worth was nothing. What did he deserve in life?

Nothing.

He knew he was uncool; worthless. He felt like an empty shell, just taking up space. There was nothing he could do about it, either. Except avoid it. And that is exactly what he was doing at the moment.

Avoiding it.

But he couldn't help it, he just had to do it. The pain, the physical at least, was good. It was addicting. The sting. The blade. The blood.:

Oh so addicting.

His head lulled to the side, and he couldn't quite make his eyes focus on the tiled wall. He didn't have the energy. He didn't have much of anything anymore. His eyes carried down of their own free will, to his arm. Thousands of white lines, horizontally decorating his arm in a sickening fashion. There were the faded ones, the newer, pink ones, the red open ones he had only just inflicted. The blood, smeared over the scars. The sight was poetic in his mind, the red so vibrant against his pale skin. He watched as the blood oozed slowly, sliding down his arm and onto the floor. The slow drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He swore he could hear the sound of it, if he listened closely enough. Or maybe it was just his imagination, but it soothed him. His arm started to numb, and he collected the energy to frown. The numb wasn't good, because it dulled the pain. He needed the pain. It was all he had.  
He didn't know how long he sat there, as his eyes went out of focus and his mind slowed down. It could have been minutes or hours or days, for all he knew. His mind was blank. He didn't feel time. He didn't feel anything.

And he liked it.

Though, as they say, all good things come to an end. After a while, he could feel himself start to slip back into reality. He would have fought it, had he not known that it was useless. He would be on some level of alertness soon, no matter how much he wished to be ignorant to the world.  
The cutting was cowardly; Soul knew he was a coward. But it was more than just the way out. It was a necessity for his being. It was an addiction. It was as much as an addiction as the white powder to a cocaine addict, or the drink to the alcoholic. The kill to the murder; the hit to the abuser. He had to have it.

And he did.

When his conscious mind was fully awake, he sighed. At some point he had closed his eyes, and he didn't want to open them. He knew that he had to, though. But he took a few minutes to himself before he did. After a moment of the quiet, he opened his eyes and lifted his head up, stretching the stiff muscles in his neck. He must have been sitting there for a few hours at one arm to push himself up, he rose wobbly to his feet. His other arm stayed limp at his side, as he wanted to refuse to look at it. He felt shame. This was an often cycle he felt when the world just became too much for him. The worry, then the panic, then the sting, then the bliss, then the shame. The shame was by far the worst part. He was disgusted with himself. Spilling his own blood, what right did he have? There was probably someone out there right now that needed blood, and Soul was wasting what he had. There were people who had it way worse than he did, and when he thought about it, his problems paled in comparison. He felt like a baby.

A whiny, ungrateful, stupid little baby.

It was disgusting.

Walking over to the sink, he gave a long, empty stare at the mirror. What he saw, no matter how cliche it was, was not himself. The empty eyes, the same crimson color as the blood, dark and bloodshot, surrounded by bags that seemed to be getting darker and darker as time wore on. The pretty face, ruined by the burdens of life. He looked fifty at only fifteen. His full lips, cracked and dry, from the constant biting of his sharp teeth. His once lively, full cheeks, now hollow and sunken in. He looked like a ghost of his former self. Which was exactly what he was. A ghost. He wasn't really living, but he certainly wasn't dead. His eyes trailed to his hair, half covering his face, it's harsh white color matching almost perfectly with his pale, paper like skin. It reached halfway down his neck without his headband, sticking out in all odd directions, naturally. His neck, leading down into his sunken collar bones, which disappeared into his tee-shirt, the bones jutting out in a way that said 'I'm starved, and he won't feed me'. His eyes then trailed to his shoulders...

And he flinched. the blood ran all the way up his arm, dirtying his sleeves. With slow, mechanical movements he removed his shirt, looking for a few more seconds of avoidance of looking at his forearm.

Though, the sight of his torso did him no better. Hundreds and hundreds of scars lining his body, down his sides and across his chest. All kinds, straight from the blades, jagged and zigzag from the makeshift ones when he couldn't find a razor. The less exact, repeated ones from where he clawed at himself, as if he could tear his own skin right of. Then there was the most noticeable one, splayed across his stomach, which he had carved with an exacto knife. It read 'worthless' with curved, smooth letters, as if he had been just handwriting. The space around it was clear, as if only to draw attention to the word. His stomach itself was thin, to the point where his hip bones protruded out an inch or two than even first considered unhealthy. His eating habits were almost as bad as the cutting ones. He was never hungry, and he never ate. He couldn't remember his last meal. And he liked it that way. He deserved to be so thin, so disgusting. He was worthless, after all. Why should he get to eat? Who was he to eat food, knowing someone else out there could probably need it more?  
He wanted to look away, but he knew he couldn't. He deserved to see himself, see his ugliness. And he knew he had to look at his arm.

So he finally did.

Bile rose in his throat, but he forced it down. His pale skin, now crusted with dark brown, dried blood, all leading from a central point on his forearm. It was a deep gash, a thin layer crusted over it. It had split in one place, and driblets of crimson liquid were peaking out. It looked as if a bloody massacre had taken place, worse than it was probably even possible to make special-effects makeup look. The gash, deeper than any others surrounding it, swelled, the skin around it puffing. With a look of agony of his eyes, he forced himself to touch his arm, trailing slowly from his elbow to the cut, careful to not to apply any more pressure than a feather would. He touched it as if it were a delicate child, though it was different. The cut held no innocents what so ever a child would possess. This got Soul every time. He did the damage, but once it was done he couldn't bear himself. Each scar was filled with a hate; a hate so passionate it would make death itself cautious to approach. Though, along with the hate, there was something different. It was a feeling that Soul couldn't explain; one that made him not want the scars to go away. They were there, and they were a part of him. If he didn't have the scars, he was nothing. They were who he was. If he had the choice, he would keep them. They weren't necessarily something he was proud of, but they were his. It was a very intimate feeling. It was passionate.

His motions became mechanical once again as he went through the motions of removing the blood with some paper towels, forcing himself to look away from the arm in the mirror. His eyes instantly fell on his real arm, never deriving from the cut. He stared with such an intensity, it felt like nobody could ever tear his eyes away. Even as he washed the blood off, he was careful to not touch it, and to never glance somewhere else. He felt blindly under the sink for the first aid supplies, and got the tape and bandages ready. He treated the cut with such gentleness and carefulness, as he stared transfixed.  
It was just a feeling that was indescribable to anyone who had never experienced it. If you were to ask Soul to even describe a fraction of it, he wouldn't have the right words. Having something you hate so much be so close, not wanting to let it go. It sounded confusing, but it was just the feeling. Sometimes feelings can't be described through words, and it was as simple as that.

If you were to put it in an analogy, it would be like alcohol to an alcoholic. The alcoholic would see it, and want it, and need it. But he also knew there were other things that needed him more, maybe he had family, or some obligation.  
Soon, the alcohol would become his friend, along with his worst enemy. He would want it so bad, but hate it at the same time.  
It was an addiction, and it was really a love/hate disease you couldn't cure.  
That was the feeling Soul had. A love/hate one. He knew it was so uncool to have these emotions, but it wasn't something he could bare.

A loud banging came at the door, and Soul jumped, a quick moment of panic before realizing he locked the door.

" Soul, I'm home, and I brought dinner!" Maka yelled through the thick wood, and then he could hear her retreating footsteps. Soul sighed, finished bandaging, and cleaned up the rest of the blood. The razor he had used was still on the bathroom floor, and he used a paper towel to pick it up and throw it in the trash bin, not wanting to touch it, as if it were poison.

Slipping his jacket on, he exited the bathroom. Maka was in the kitchen, unboxing various different foods she had picked up from what looked to be KFC. Soul's stomach let out a silent ache, but he knew he wouldn't eat. She handed him a plate and he started to fix himself a plate, taking as minimal as possible, as he hated wasting.  
It was ironic, really, he wasted so much already. The blood, the air he breathed. What difference did it matter if it was food?  
Taking his normal seat at the dinning table, he grabbed his fork immediately and started to shove the food around, placing it in a way to make it look as if there was less there. It was an art he was expert at.

" How was your day?" Maka asked, taking her seat across from him as usual. She had ben out all day, planning with Tsubaki. They were organizing a huge sleep over that everyone in their group would attend, taking place at Kidd's house.

" Cool, I guess," he said, putting a bit of mashed potatoes into his mouth and pretending to swallow before spitting it into his napkin. The food was like rubber on his tongue.

" That's good. We're all set for the get together tomorrow. It'll be us, Tsubaki and BlackStar, and Liz and Patti and Kidd at his place," she informed him.

" Sleepovers are so uncool," Soul mumbled, taking a sip of his water.

" It will be good for us! All of us rarely get together at the same time, it will be good to spend time together," she replied. Soul 'hmm'ed and continued on pushing his food around, then getting up to go to the kitchen and dumping the food into the garbage can, moments before Maka entered. He put his plate in the sink and disappeared off into his room. He didn't catch the worried look Maka sent his way when she threw her own leftovers in the garbage, seeing his food piled on top of the trash.  
He immediately went over to his bed, exhausted. His emotional breakdown had cost him, he was out within minutes. There had been no real trigger in his sudden panic, he had just been sitting and watching some crime show on TV, when he felt it coming on. The need to cut was random, and snuck up on him at the most random and innocent of times.

Before he drifted off he mentally calculated. That was the third time he'd lapsed within the last week.

It was getting worse.

* * *

**Please favorite, follow, and review because I'm sure A Cannibalistic Skittle and I would appreciate it. And welcome back to the older followers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Self-harming, cursing.**

* * *

It wasn't even dawn when his alarm went off.

An 'alarm' being, of course, an annoyingly heavy Blair jumping onto his torso, effectively cutting off his breathing supply. Soul let out a groan as the cat-turned-woman landed on him, a feeling of being suffocated immediately following.

"Get off me you damn cat, you weigh more than a truck!" He yelled, squirming.  
Blair jut out her bottom lip in a sort of pout.

"Aww, my Soul! Please don't be mad at me! I just came to give you a good morning!" she said, her breasts rubbing against his chest.

"I bet Black Star is less annoying than you," he spat, pushing her shoulders with a bit more force than really was necessary.

"That's rude!" she yelled, getting off of him and plopping down on the floor next to his bed, crossing her arms and making her bottom lip puff out even more. If she pushed it out any more, Soul would be tempted to tell her to stop before a bird came and perched on her lip. Her nightgown slipped down to reveal more of her large breasts, no doubt intentionally. Any man would be drooling at the sight of a sexy kitty sitting and pouting at their feet.  
Soul was unaffected.

"Blair, leave. Go bug Maka or something," he muttered, rubbing his chest, inhaling a bit more deeply than necessary to stress his point.

"She keeps her door locked. I can't get in," she said.

"Maybe I should start following her example," he replied.

Blair let out a loud sigh before getting up and slinking her way out of his room, swaying her butt in a sensual way. Soul was glanced over at his clock, it reading '5:46 a.m.' He sighed; Maka would be getting up in almost an hour to start getting ready. Grabbing a set of clean clothes, he slugged off to the bathroom. Not glancing at the mirror as he undressed, he turned on the shower, and sat in his boxers waiting for the water to heat up. He cursed their bad plumbing system, living in Death City. After the water reached an acceptable temperature, he climbed in. Letting the warm water cascade down his back, he closed his eyes and tipped his head backwards, feeling the bliss of the hot water cascading through his white locks.. His mind didn't particularly focus on anything, and he let his thoughts just wander in what some might call free association. He didn't want to think about anything special, so he just thought of everything.

There was that party at Kidd's tonight. Kidd hosted a lot of these parties for them, at least once a month. Maka really made it sound like a big deal, but Soul didn't really care for them. He remember the last of Kidd's parties, they had played Truth or Dare. It was becoming a ritual for every get together, and Soul quit the game last time after he was dared to strip and jump into the freezing outside pool, to which he was called a chicken. If only his friends knew that it wasn't about the cold water, but the scares that littered his whole body that he would have exhibited around for the whole group. Black Star laughed and called him a coward, to which he gladly agreed.

If only they knew.

Sometimes, he wondered what it would be like for someone to find out. Would they be shocked? Probably. He could imagine all his different friend's reactions. Maka would freak, Tsubaki would look sad and concerned, Kidd would pretend like it didn't bother him and never again meet his eyes..  
There would be one definite reaction, though. They would attempt to force him to stop.

And so he would never tell.

Sometimes he just wished he could feel the warmth of other people around him to drive away the loneliness. There was a barrier that was solidly formed between him and his friends. He wished that the secret didn't feel like such a burden all the time, weighing down on him like a ton of bricks. It seemed to constantly plague his thoughts, such as at this moment. He would be walking down a street, and would find himself glancing at other people's arms to see if they fell a victim to the razor as he did, but there was never anybody. When he stood late night at the convenience store, bandages and disinfectant in his arms, he looked at other people's baskets to see if anyone else had the same things, as if somebody would notice him and come up, saying something about it and confiding in him, to make him feel less alone. It was a one in a million chance. But of course, it never happened like that.

He was doomed to forever feel the pain and endure it by himself. There would be no magical meeting of someone who had the same problems. He was alone, and he deserved to be. He was worthless and disgusting, and he didn't have any reason for someone to reach out to him, he was a lost cause.  
He stopped himself there, opening his eyes and shaking his head. He couldn't think like that. This free association was dangerous for him, he could feel the first nibbs of the panic brusling inside him. He tried to quickly distract himself, as he didn't want to have a relapse right now. For god sakes, it had only been a few hours since his last one! He was definitely getting worse.

But the panic soon came, and he could feel it. He knew fighting it was useless, he was going to give in. He was going to cut. He knew he didn't have as much time as he had last night, so he had to make it quick. It was a good thing he was in the shower, the mess would wash itself down the drain when he was done. He gripped the edge of the tub as he felt around, finding a hidden razor behind the hair care products. He had a lot of these hidden blades, scattered around, placed expertly. Even if Maka stumbled upon one, she probably wouldn't think anything of it. He could feel the need to cut closing in on him, tightening his throat and restricting his breathing. He NEEDED it. Now. Fumbling clumsily, he brought it over to his side, sparing his already freshly injured arm. He didn't really feel the worse emotional pain. This was a different kind of cutting, it wasn't something to block out the overwhelming feelings. This was the addiction of the sting. This was the dangerous part, the part that scared him. He was doing it, with no real motive besides the addiction. The addiction was in ways, worse than when he did it because of the emotions. He couldn't stop himself, he felt the yearn for it. He wanted the sting, he wanted to see his own blood. It was sick in a masochistic way, he felt as if he deserved to give into his addiction. He was a junky.

He tapped into his feelings so the pain he felt was accompanied. The worthlessness. All he could feel was the worthlessness. He needed to think those thoughts. He was disgusting, and vile. He didn't deserve this blood. He deserved the pain. He was his own tormentor, in a world of pain. That was it. This was what he was craving. He moved the razor across his skin, softly and then more aggressively as the blade dragged on. He opened his eyes to watch, seeing the line of red slowly appear onto the porcelain white flesh. He let out a quiet hiss. He was like a druggie with his next line, the feeling was again, indescribable. He stood for a few moments before positioning the razor an inch below the first cut, and let his mind go free as he pressed the edge down again. And again. And again.

Just one more.

And again.

He couldn't stop himself. It was all just too good. He felt it, the sting. He watched the blood ooze down his side, mixing with the water and becoming a lighter pink color, washing down his body and down the drain. Every cut and the color of the water turned more opaque with red.

He knew he should stop and finish his shower before Maka got up, but he couldn't stop himself. Before he knew it, there were six identical cuts on his hip, each red with the mixture of blood and water. He restrained himself from bringing the razor down again, biting his lip. It split with the pressure from his razor teeth, but he ignored it. Leaning his head onto the tile wall, he put his hand over the cuts, closing his eyes. He came down from his worked up state, breathing shallowly through the shower steam. He stayed like that for a few moments before slowly lifting his head and rinsing off his side, the blood running and running before gradually turning lighter shades of pink, until the water was once again clear. Soul shut off the shower and stepped out, shivering at the cold air as hit his wet body. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around himself. He kept his eyes closed as he walked over to the mirror, a surreal feeling following him. He lazily looked up at his own dripping wet reflection. His hair was a dark gray color, the wet strands weighted down and clinging to his face. His hands holding his towel up clenched before letting go, dropping it to the floor so he could fully examine himself.

He was a mess. All the cuts ran down his arms starting at his shoulder, and down his chest from right below his collarbone. There wasn't an inch of pale skin untouched by scars, with the exception of in the middle yet again where there was a clear space surrounding the word on his stomach. His ribs were clearly visible, and his hip bones jutted out in a sickening fashion. The cuts continues all down his legs and inner thighs, stopping at his knees. He stared at himself for quite some time, transfixed. No matter how many times he looked at himself, he would never get over the feeling he got when he did. His body felt alien to him, it's only purpose was to hold his scars. It was strange, his scars were more important to him than his body. He had given up his body to his addiction; to his pain. Soul wasn't his body. He was his scars. Lightly, he traced over the ones starting on his chest, downwards. He knew he was suppose to be hurrying, but he didn't think about it at the time. He wondered idly if he would ever sit and count them all, but he knew it was an impossible task. There were so many, some overlapping others, some faded and then were some that weren't visible, overtaken by others. His fingers made their way down his chest and sides, saving his stomach for last. His finger trailed to the outside of the bubble of unblemished skin, before picking up and

touching the 'W', slowly tracing it.

'W', he remembered, the pain of the little knife in his hands. The starting point was more faded than the rest, from where he had started unsure. The cut got deeper from then on, leaving a permanent mark.

'ORTH' was also deep, the same amount of pressure. Soul could think back, almost as if it were a movie in his head, and he pictured himself with the knife, slowly dragging it across his skin with a precise motion.

The 'LESS' however, was noticeably more of a scar. His fingers traced the smooth cuts, his eyes following. He saw himself, his hand tightening until his knuckles were white as he pressed with such a force, as if all his anger and hate could be expressed in the slow motions of the knife. His feelings, his soul all went into the sharp edge as he mutilated his own skin, decorating it with red.

Soul snapped out of his almost daze as he finished the word, looking back up into his own eyes.

He had always loved his own eyes. They were a color that reminded him. They were the same exact shade of fresh blood, and he often admired the comparison. He loved them, and they were the only part of himself except his scars that he felt he wanted. He could be in a public place and just take a glance into a mirror, to see the reflection of his eyes. They were what kept him going when he couldn't pull out a razor. The color reminded him of those alone moments he spent with his scars. The color was a promise of the sting that was later to come.

Soul tore away from his reflection and dressed quickly, not wanting to make Maka suspicious if she had woken up while he was in the shower and was getting impatient. Putting on his signature red skinny jeans and black and yellow jacket, he left his hair wet to air dry on it's own. It didn't matter how much time he put into his appearance, he never really saw himself anyway.

Sure enough, when he exited the bathroom, his blonde haired partner was lounging in the kitchen still in her pajamas, clutching a cup of steaming coffee.

"Morning," she greeted him, followed by a yawn and a large sip. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement, his wet hair flinging drips onto his face. He scowled irritatedly, opening the fridge to browse the food he knew he wouldn't be consuming. There was only one that was worth looking forward to for Soul, and that was the anticipation of his next... Relapse.

For so many burdens he bore, that was his reward. His own self-destructing mind kept him on the edge of his seat. The pretend eating, the lying,the fake facade of coolness. Long sleeved shirts during summer, the constant feeling of dread and suspicion that someone had figured it out. For all the secrets and lies, he pain of the sting and the adrenaline rush that came with the scarlet stained blade was worth it. The addiction was worth it, in a sick, twisted way.

Like an alcoholic father whose family had been ripped away from him. His very addiction was both his salvation and destruction. Every drink was more numbing than the next, each sip a sweet bliss. Though, with every sip was another brick he added to the wall dividing him from his family. Each sip was another agitating poke into the belly of a monster, soon to explode and wreak havoc. And he sat alone with a bottle, a grim satisfaction in his heart. He was alone with nothing left; except his sweet addiction to keep him company. He gives into his addiction, and in a way he is happier there than with the rest of the world. Soul felt the same way, alone in a room with nothing but his addiction. His friends still surrounded him, but there was still that wall that he built up cut by cut. And that wall would never be broken down, unless someone were to find out about his addiction. The the walls would be gone and they would be a part of his own dark reality.

Soul was determined to never let that happen, however.

Maka watched him intently as he browsed the refrigerator, showing no signs of repenting. Soul let out an involuntary sigh before grabbing an apple and closing the door.

" What's the plan today?" he asked, bringing the apple to his mouth, The shiny green skin taunted him as he opened his mouth in preparation to bite.

" We have a mission in the city today, and Kidd's party is tonight,: she replied, sipping her coffee once more and tearing her eyes away from him to look at the day planner spread out on the island counter. He brought the apple down from his mouth to reply, sucessfully using his nicely developed 'fake out' trick. He often used it when Maka started to show interests in his eating habits. He would get ready to take a bite before starting up a conversation, and casually start talking every time he was about to eat. It created the allusion he was eating, while all he did was look like he was intently focused on their topic and not on his food. Maka was usually none the wiser.

" What time does Kidd's party start?" he asked, already forming excuses to protest not going.

" It starts at seven, we'll be sleeping over. And there is no way you're getting out of it, either. You skipped the last one, and the one before that. We need to see our friends once and awhile," she replied, scowling at him in a way Soul could only describe as nagging and bitchy. He often thought of her this way, if not only just to take his momentary annoyance out on her. She was his best friend and his meister, but their personalities clashed way too much for him to handle. She was like the scolding parent, telling him to clean his room or finish his dinner. It grated on his nerves most of the time.

He returned her scowl with his own, casually setting his apple on the counter. Maka rolled her eyes and put her now empty mug in the sink, and headed off for the bathroom. Soul didn't move for a while- not because he couldn't, but because he really had nothing to do. He stood still, staring down at the piece of fruit with a childlike intensity. He distantly heard the sound of a door close and the shower start up, but he paid no mind. Kidd's party? He would have to go, if not to keep up appearances. It was a nuisance to him; he really didn't see any benefit of going. What reason was there to? They would sit around and play games and drink. They would chat about their experiences and lives. Kidd would retail the details of his latest mission, Patty adding her input when the need arose. Liz would sneak out for a cigarette, Tsubaki would busy herself in the kitchen with Maka, making snacks. Blackstar would sit and preach about his god like qualities to any who would listen. What would Soul do? Sit and look bored and not speak? That was all he usually did. What else _could _he do? Talk? He had nothing to say. His addiction took up most of his life, and somehow it had consumed his mind without him noticing. When was the last time he thought of something besides his razor, or how he was going to skip dinner with avoiding suspicion? It had been months. Years, even. His whole being was consumed around his scars, what did normal conversations even consist of? Sports, clothes, TV shows? When was the last time he played basketball with his friends or followed a TV show? What determined his clothing choices; the scars littering his arms? He wasn't on normal standards by any means, so how would he be able to appear that he was? He would sit and speak little, playing indifferent to his peers and wish for the night to be over. That was the only set plan he could think of. So that was what he would do.

He heard the shower turn off and the blow dryer start, and within minutes Maka was entering the kitchen, ready to go. He saw her pause at the fact that he had not moved, so he shifted his weight off the counter and walked over to the island, grabbing his wallet and silently heading out the door without a word. After a moment, she followed him. He walked out the front door, down to his bike. His bike was a Harley Davidson, given to him by his parents when he first moved out. He wasn't really into bikes, they were just transportation. Though, by the shiny exterior, it must have cost a lot.

" Soul."

He looked over at his partner, pausing. In her hand she held his apple; the one he hadn't bitten into. The look on her face was unreadable.

" Thanks," he said, reaching out and snatching it from her hand. She said nothing more as he put his helmet on, and only after he was fully on it did she come over and grab her own helmet and board. He started the engine and they took off, in a quiet and uncomfortable silence. Soul felt like a scolded child who had done something very wrong. There was a dread filling his stomach in place of substance. He would have to be more careful than he already was with Maka. She couldn't find out he wasn't eating, because if she found out he wasn't eating, she would find out about the cutting. And nobody could know about the cutting.

Nobody.

They rode down the street at max speed, dawn just shining over the horizon to chase away the darkness of the night. Soul shook with an unknown emotion.

All he had to do was complete his mission today and get through Kidd's party, and then he could retreat to the warmth of his bed, where he could block out the world with a dreamless sleep.

He would have to bear his burdens until then.

* * *

**Please favorite, follow, and review and the next chapter will be out soon for the newcomers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Self-harming, **

**A/N(A Cannibalistic Skittle): A quick note, this story is dedicated to my Sugar Tits, for it's based on the RP we started a while back. She's one of the real masterminds behind this. Her fanfiction name is TaeminnieLav, so go and give her loves.**

* * *

Soul sighed and leaned up against his bike, staring up at the tall impending building in front of him. The mission had been as mundane as all the rest, nothing that was life threatening or exciting. Though Soul wasn't sure he could handle fighting or excitement, when he felt as if he just wanted to curl up in a ball and never face the world again.

_Typical depressing outlook on the world, I know._

Maka, who had been reporting in about their mission, walked out of the building and made her way over to him. Soul waited patiently with the blankest of stares plastered across his face, his eyes just locked ahead of him on nothing in particular. He hadn't really noticed her presence until she made a move to get back on the back, making him both mentally and physically jump. He turned his attention slowly back to her to make sure she had the helmet on, not wanting her to be in the path of danger in case of a crash, never mind himself. He would hate to see her hurt, though his own body didn't matter whether be it inflicted by someone else or himself.

They didn't communicate much to each other besides a simple, "Head to Kidd's now," and a nod. They drove the short distance to the large mansion, the sun setting on the horizon. The normal street goers of Death City were absent; all at home with their families and the such. The only sounds to be heard by their ears were the roar of the bike and their heavy breathing. Soul was aware, not for the first time, of Maka's arms encircling his stomach from behind. Her arms lay right over his newly formed scars from the shower this morning, and he felt the sting. He flinched. It was surprising how much cuts hurt when he wasn't in the heat of the moment; the pain felt more intense when the addiction or the emotions weren't there to counter it. It hurt, and not in a way he thrived on. It was pain, but not really pain. It was difficult to explain to even his own mind.  
Soul grit his sharp teeth and pressed on, trying his damned hardest to ignore the pain, at least for now. He had to stay focused on the road, it wasn't only him on the bike. The silence between them drove his mind closer and closer to relapsing into thoughts of the cuts, the scars, the need, the want. He kept trying to shake it from his mind but the silence wouldn't have anything of it. He bit into his lip, one of his teeth piercing the skin providing a momentary distraction, as he pulled up outside of Kidd's house. The lights were shining through the windows, loud voices and music could be heard from inside. Soul wanted to break the silence between him and his partner, but he couldn't find any words to say. The apple she'd handed him before they left still burned a hole in his jacket pocket, he'd have to rid himself of it quickly.

She got off his bike and removed her helmet, making a failed attempt to straighten out her ponytails. He watched her with an amused look, and when she saw his face she shot him a glare. His smile quickly faded as the apple knocked against his leg when he dismounted the bike. It was like a representation of a heavy guilt.

" What's wrong?" She asked, surprising him. He lifted up the seat of the motorcycle to remove their overnight bags from the storage space.

" This party is so uncool, we should just stay home," he said, fabricating the lie. She accepted his answer is stride.

" We haven't seen any of them for weeks. We're not leaving."

" You saw Tsubaki yesterday," he replied, handing her the solid grey backpack that contained her clothing.

" Yes, but you didn't," she said, frowning. They were quiet for a moment before she opened her mouth again. "You know, Soul-" he could sense what was coming. He quickly started up the driveway to Kidd's house.

" Shut up and let's go, we're late."

It was way too close for him. He really hated being confronted, much less about her suspicions. He trudged up to the door, giving the panel of wood two quick heavy raps. Now he just had to wait for someone to come to the door. He dreaded that moment of awkward silence where something could be said and everything could fall apart.  
Although not long after, before Maka had time to catch up to him at the door, a certain blue haired assassin answered the door.

" SOUL AND MAKA ARE HERE!" He yelled into to the house, and out. His voice carried far so probably the neighbor's four houses down heard him. Soul rolled his eyes.

" Yeah, Yeah, we're here." He sighed.

" Though I didn't want to be.." He mumbled the last part under his breath in almost a whisper.

It seemed both occupants had heard him, to which Maka glared and Black Star looked surprised.

" Why would you not want to be here? The amazing Black Star is here! Come inside so I can tell you of my heroic rescue yesterday," he said, pulling Soul in by the arm. He cringed, not from pain but from the physical contact. He felt as if the wall in between him and his friends was actually tangible, and to have someone touch him so casually was like a shock of ice water hitting him. He quickly withdrew his arm and followed inside.

The house had been made over to accommodate guests- or at least that's what Soul thought. Maybe Kidd's house was always so neat and tidy. Now that Soul thought about it, it probably was, due to the shinigami's obsessive compulsive disorder. Many occupants littered the living room, red solo cups scattered on tables, blankets already strewn out on the floor for the impending 'sleepover'. Patty was sitting on them, already clad in her frilly pink pajamas. Kidd, Liz, and Tsubaki were all chatting quietly together, and looked up when they entered.

" The life of the party is here," Liz said, smiling as she took a rather large swig from a cup. Kidd rose to greet his new guests.  
Soul faked his best uninterested smile. He glanced around, backpack clutched tightly over his shoulder. He'd packed bandages and gauze and any other medical things in a poorly crafted secret pocket, just in case there was a time where he needed to relapse. He hated that he already expected it to happen, like he didn't trust in himself to go without it for one night. But it was an addiction, and addictions are bad habits hard to break, so he brushed the thought from his mind and set the bag down next to the door, hoping no one would be curious enough to go through it. He glanced back at Maka to see if she still had the same soul-wrenching scowl, which she had. She carried her stuff over and greeted Kidd, then joined the two others on the blanket. Soul tried to avoid as much contact and talking as possible. His mind was so on edge, he wasn't sure what could set him off again.

Tsubaki almost immediately headed for the kitchen, pulling Maka along with her. Never mind that she wasn't the one hosting the party, the weapon was always the one serving the snacks and drinks, as was in her motherly nature. That, and the fact that these sleepovers were when her and Maka could gossip and chat about everything. Soul tried to look interested in BlackStar's heroic tale of the kitten he rescued, but failed. He tried to strike up a conversation with Kidd.

" Great party man, really. Love the furniture, by the way," he said, desperately grasping for a subject. He cringed in on himself at the stupid topic choice. The furniture? So uncool. Kidd didn't seem to mind though, and started in on his tale of the antique coffee table that his father had bought thousands of years ago in his travels. Soul cursed himself, as this was even worse than listening to BlackStar's ranting. Liz seemed to sense his frustration and gave him a sarcastic smirk. Patty seemed quiet, and when Soul looked over, she was looking through Maka's bag, which the blonde girl had abandoned.

Soul had an internal moment of panic. An impending fear filling his chest that she'd make it to his bag, so he tried to casually make his way over to his back to pluck it from the ground and place it back on his shoulder, a safer place. Inside his wall. Kidd now going on about the pictures and how they were hand painted to be precisely symmetrical and BlackStar moving onto his intense training explanation. Maka and Tsubaki giggled from the kitchen. Soul's mind started to race, panic starting over him. "I-I uh.. I'm going to go, Uh, change. Into pajamas." He said in a low voice. Him mind was desperately trying to grasp an excuse to get away. To get his bag. To get to the small razor hidden in the 'secret pocket' Soul had made. The panic was making him feel the need to cut to try and get rid of itself, like even the panic hated itself and wanted death.

He turned to make his way down the hall to the bathroom.

" Wait," someone said, and he froze in his place.

" Don't be a loser, it's early! Let's all play a game!" Black Star yelled, laughing at Patty's sudden excitement, despite the fact that he had just indirectly called her a loser.

" LET'S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK!" She yelled, still holding up the contents of Maka's bag.

" I really have to-" Soul started, backing away. Black Star rushed over and dragged him over by the arm, tearing his backpack away and throwing it into the corner. Soul was so dazed, he didn't have time to react.

" What's this, Kidd?" Patty asked, holding up a small package. It was a tampon.

" Oh um, well-" Kidd started, flabbergasted. Liz laughed, and Maka and Tsubaki entered, giggling. It was so much action all at once, Soul could feel his throat constricting.

" Everyone settle down!" Black Star said, pulling Soul down on the couch next to him.

" We're playing Truth or Dare."

" But I want to play hide and seek!" Patty said, waving the tampon in the air. Maka caught sight of it and rushed over, gathering her things and snatching the offending tampon out of her hand.

" We're playing Truth or Dare," Black Star insisted.

" I'm going to the bathroom," Soul said, rising. Black Star pulled him down again. Sweat was starting to form on his neck, and so help god he started hyperventilating.

"No, Soul is first," Black Star insisted.

"Black Star, truth or dare?" Soul asked, quickly.

"Dare!" Black Star declared proudly. Of course, the ninja would never turn down a chance for a dare.

"I DARE you to let me go to the bathroom," Soul said, sneering. BlackStar laughed.

"When a dude's gotta go, a dude's gotta go," he said, letting go of Soul. He quickly retrieved his backpack.

"Wait, what do you need your backpack for?" Maka asked, watching him.

"I told you guys I was going to change. I'm still going to change, doesn't mean... This... has to stop, I mean, Patty's in her pajamas, why can't I be?" He rattled out, sounding a bit defensive about the situation, but it was only because he was so panicked at the moment and didn't want anyone really questioning his need for his backpack. He bit his lip, hoping it would be an acceptable answer. BlackStar groaned. "Hurry UP then!" He yelled, Maka glared at BlackStar since she wasn't done questioning Soul.  
He hurried off to the bathroom, clicking the lock as silently as he possibly could. He dug through his backpack with a panicked intensity no one could match.

Grabbing his razor, he tossed the bag to the floor and quickly ripped off his shirt, it feeling like ribbons of cloth just trying to keep him from breathing. By now his breathing was very off. Without much thinking, he glanced down and just dug the sharp blade into his hip, not realizing how deep he was actually going until blood just poured out from the wound and down his leg and thighs. His hands shook violently, as did his whole body. Soul froze, just coming to the realization of his thoughtless action.

" Damn.." He let out a quick, sharpened breath. "Maybe.." He thought out loud. He pulled his phone from his pocket and pulled up Kidd's number. He quickly entered in words. 'Hey, I ripped my pajama pants, could you bring me needle and thread?'  
He added pressure to the wound as he waited for either a response or for Kidd to come to the door with the said items. About 3 minutes later, there was a soft knock with Kidd at the door.

" I only have black, is that alright?" Soul unlocked the door.

" Yeah, perfect." he said quickly, just opening the door enough to get the thread and needle, then he shut and locked the door again. He shakily laced the needle, it being the only thing right now he could really do without having to go to the hospital. Soul looked down and gulped, pushing the needle and thread into his skin and stitching up the wound. it was by no means sanitary, but at least he wouldn't bleed out.

The image was gruesome: His poorly stitched flesh still raw and bloody. He tore his eyes away, snapping the thread. He was shaking all over, a mix of adrenaline, despair, and panic. He still felt the sickening urge- he wanted this sharp blade to dig into his flesh again and tear it open, so hard he would scream out in pain mixed with a sick pleasure. He wanted to feel the hurt; he wanted to feel it so bad he could almost taste it. Though, he could literally taste it now, there was a bit of blood coming up the back of his throat. He was in such a blind panic, all he could think was 'Cut, do it, do it again, you have to do it.' He brought the razor up again, a far ways above before. He pressed down, hissing as the razor bit his flesh. He was beyond comprehension now, completely overtaken by emotion. Coherent thoughts weren't possible anymore, the words 'cut' and 'bleed' no longer even forming in his brain. This was very dangerous, if not from cutting too deep than the fact that his friends were right beyond the door. They were so close, he felt so... vulnerable. So naked. Soul had made four identical cuts across his side, above his hip bone. He shook so hard now that he dropped the now fully drenched razor, his body convulsing. He gulped in air greedily, putting his hands on the sink to steady himself. His eyes crashed shut, and he stood for what seemed like an eternity until his breathing shallowed and he stopped shaking, for the most part. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up into the mirror, staring dead at the image before him. The bathroom looked like a murder scene, scarlet red covering porcelain white. The sink, the floors, his body all smeared in blood.

Soul felt sticky and dirty, disgusting. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't even form a good enough plan to start moving and clean up or treat his wounds. He just stood and stared, mind a jumble. He tried to go for his backpack, but his body would not respond. He raised a shaky hand and touched his face, watching as the image followed in the mirror. He looked borderline psychotic. His eyes looked of those of a wild, lost soul. The crimson was unusually bright, pupils dilated. His hand left a smear of red on his cheek, giving him a demonistic appearance. He could see someone broken in the mirror. He could see someone dead. Someone who was pushed to their limit, someone who was well beyond normal comprehension. Those wild eyes, the blood. He looked like an animal; a monster. And that was what he felt he was, a monster. Who was he to sit here and get off in his sick, sadistic way when his happy friends were sitting just outside, laughing and having a good time? Why should he bring such misery around them? They were so innocent, he was so jaded. He was truly in a whole nother world- a world of darkness. This was disgusting and filthy- he was disgusting and filthy. What would they think if they knew? If one of them just walked in right now and saw him the way he was at this moment? He couldn't even imagine it.  
Soul took a few more minutes of staring at his eyes. It usually brought him at least a soft calmness, but now they were nothing but a reminder of how disgusting he was. He let his eyes flutter closed, the blood still oozing from the wounds. He was in a frozen state; a state of shock.

In the other room, the group was in laughter, though BlackStar could feel something off. Soul was taking ages, and there was a certain smell and feeling that hung in the air that just signalled trouble. He stood up slowly.

" I'm gonna check on Soul. It shouldn't take this long to piss and change." He mumbled, walking down the hall, to the door. Soul was still motionless, though he had finally opened his eyes yet again. There was a loud bang on the door, causing him to snap out of his daze and jump a mile in the air.

" SOUL. THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG? IT'S BEEN LIKE HALF AN HOUR, MAN!" Black Star yelled angrily through the door. Soul's head snapped to the side just in time to see the doorknob turning, and by the time he could have rushed over to prevent it from opening, it was too late. There was a moment of frozen silence, both boys in complete and utter shock. Soul was the first to move, without thinking. He pulled the blue haired boy inside, slamming the door behind him before another curious onlooker wandered onto the scene. He stood facing the door, not trusting himself to turn around. He had lost it. Someone had found out. BlackStart knew. He KNEW. Soul couldn't think; he couldn't breathe. He could feel panic rushing over him. What was he going to do? The only thoughts he could conjure was 'oh god, oh god, oh god..'  
Black Star was uncharistically quiet, Soul was counting his blessings that the assassin hadn't automatically started yelling and screaming when he saw the blood.

A moment of silence stretched between them for what seemed like an eternity. Numbly, Soul turned to the other occupant of the room, terrified at what he'd see. How would he react? Soul couldn't even think.

What he saw sent ice down his spine. BlackStar stood, staring at his body. His eyes traced over the hundreds of scars that littered his sides, stomach, arms, chest. He could practically see the wheels turning in the blue haired boy's head, each gear clicking into place. Soul felt as if he was under an examiner's knife, being analyzed inch by inch. He felt so vulnerable. The walls he had built.. They were now torn down. BlackStar was in his reality, and Soul was out on display for him to see. Soul watched as his eyes wandered, no emotions portraying on the other boy's face. His eyes moved quickly, stopping finally at his stomach, where the biggest scar of all was located. 'worthless' spelled out across his body, for those hungering eyes to see. Unconsciously Soul brought his arms up to cover his stomach, clutching his sides tightly, ignoring the stinging pain that was coming from his side under his hand. Blood oozed between his fingers, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He had been found out. The even IDEA of someone finding out was not even a possibility in his mind before, and now he couldn't even fathom that it was happening. It felt so surreal.

It was certain, however, that BlackStar was avoiding looking at his face. His eyes wandered his body, never straying too far upwards to look him in the eye. A million things rushed into Soul's head at once. Was he disgusted? He wouldn't even look him in the eye. He saw the foul existence that was making up Soul's entire being, and he found it revolting. Soul could tell. In only a few moments, in what seemed like hours, Black Star's whole perception of Soul had changed from a quiet, too-cool-for-you badass, to a disgusting, worthless, self-mutilating junky. Soul felt like he had nothing left to grasp, like his whole world was crumbling and exploding beneath him. Soul's eyes could only focus on Black Star's judging expression. He'd never seen a look so intense on that boys face ever before. It was driving him insane, making him either want to curl up and die, or run far away and start over again. But he couldn't afford the latter option. Soul let his head and gaze drop, like a scolded child that had done something VERY wrong. Black Star's eyes still refused to meet that of Souls. Was he going to never speak to him again? Was this big assassin that was one of his best friends going to just throw him out like the garbage he was? Soul's mind raced on, running a 100 miles a second.

" What the FUCK is going on?" a voice yelled, making both boys jump. In a split second, Black Star's eyes rose to meet his, and then were quickly downcast again before Soul had the chance to decode them.

Liz was standing outside the door, banging on it. Soul reached over quickly and locked the door, to prevent any further intrusions. Seconds later Liz did try the door, and let out a grunt of frustration. Footsteps could be heard walking away, then a loud "SOUL AND BLACK STAR ARE GETTING IT ON, GUYS. THEY LOCKED THE DOOR." Soul cringed at the crude statement, then focused back at the problem at hand.

Black Star was now openly staring at his face, and it was Soul to look away now. He was shameful, disgusting, dirty. And now BlackStar knew. He suddenly didn't want to read the assassin's eyes.

The possibly worst part of all of this was that BlackStar hadn't reacted. He hadn't gone yelling or screaming for help, or tell him how disgusting he was. He was just _standing _there. And looking.

"... Fucking say something, will you?" Soul finally spit out, his voice cracking. He was shaking again.

" You're a fucking idiot, man," Black Star replied after a moment, and Soul's stomach plummeted. He knew it was coming, he knew this was it. Black Star hated him, and he was going to tell. Everybody was going to know. They'd all find who Soul truly was. He was a body of scars; of pain. He brought nothing but sadness and misery, and the others would soon know.

A very uncharismatic tear slid out from the corner of his crimson colored eye. If BlackStar told, he would truly be alone. There wouldn't be just a wall separating him and his friends- there would be NO friends. There would be nothing for the wall to keep out. Because nobody would be left for him.  
He deserved it.

"Please don't tell anyone," he pleaded quietly. He knew that he deserved it, but the little clutches of his mind wouldn't let go. He wanted desperately to cling to the little normalcy he had.

Black Star stared at him for a minute longer, trying to find more words to say. He'd never seen the white haired boy look so helped, so just... utterly broken before. And no matter how much he wanted to believe it wasn't true and just pretend this hadn't happened, this sight would never be erased from his mind. It was forever stuck, like a plaguing reminder of the secrets some people held. Soul waited for any kind of response to his whimpers and pleas. But he was met with none, just a staring blue haired assassin. More and more salty droplets poured from his eyes, almost as viciously as the blood had been. Soul was terrified at this moment, and his mind could only think about one thing: _Someone now knew._ And there was no taking it back, no rewind button, nothing.

_**Somebody knew.**_

* * *

**Please favorite, follow, review and I'll see you in the next chapter! Wheeee! More Soul-Torture!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Bloody situation, cursing.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

The blue haired assassin only barely met his gaze. " What.. is this..?" he murmured under his breathe, honestly just talking to himself at this point, trying to process what exactly he was seeing. Soul let his gaze drop down to the tiled floor with blood droplets covering it. His body shook uncontrollably from the amount of blood he'd lost and how cold it made his faltered porcelain skin. Without any type of warning at all, Black Star's expression changed from one of worry to one of disappointment and anger.

" Soul Eater, how could you POSSIBLY let this shit happen to yourself? How in your RIGHT MIND do you think that this would ever be a good way out!?" Soul physically flinched at the venom filled words that Black Star spat at him. The assassin continued to yell and scream at him but Soul's mind faded it out, his own thoughts of self hatred covering up the words Black Star injected under his skin.

_' See. You are worthless. Hated. Unforgivable. Friendless. Disowned. You are alone. You'll never amount to anything good. Even your best friend can't stand the sight of you now. He knows. He'll tell everyone and you'll be alone. Forever.'_

Tears welled up in the weapon's bloodshot eyes. The screaming faded back to an audible state for Soul. "-COULD FUCKING DIE FROM THIS, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT'D MAKE EVERYONE ELSE FEEL!?" Soul paused at the vibrations hitting his ears. He knew the assassin couldn't have just said that. Black Star hated everything about him now, right? There was no way he'd just let those words leave his mouth.

Soul let his gaze wander up to that of Black Star's face. An angry expression with tear streaming down from unrealistically sadden eyes. Soul could feel the guilt and regret sinking in so much faster than it normally did. Then his vision started to blur and his head felt light and heavy at the same time. The weapon's legs were begging to give out, his arms desperately trying to grip at the walls for any kind of support, but they seemed to move just out of reach any time he raised a hand toward them, like they too wanted nothing to do with him. His breathing became heavy more laboured Soul's eyes fought to stay open against the want crashing down on his to close them and let his mind rest for now.

The assassin could see his wavering movements and knew the weapon was about to crash land on the floor. Quickly, he reach out to catch him in his arms right before he hit the ground or anything else that could potentially hurt him. He didn't believe this at all. How could his best friend have hidden this from him and bore such a heavy burdened secret such as this one? Did he honestly want to do this to himself or did he think it was the only way out? Did he want to die? The Black Star pushed the questions that quickly piled in his mind aside for now, having to have a clear mind for tending to his injured friend.

He looked down at the crudely doctored gashes that littered Soul's under hip in an almost artistic manner. Candy red iron filled liquid that had changed to a maroon against a bright pale and white scarred canvas. It was sickeningly beautiful. He looked around for something other than a white towel to clean up. Laying the boy against the cold floor, he stood, ransacking the cabinets for peroxide, gauze and medical tape, knowing someone as high class as Kidd should have that around. Black Star found everything he needed and a black wash cloth for cleaning the blood off Soul and bleach to clean up the bathroom afterwards. A task that was very daunting and going to be tedious.

Wetting the cloth he ever so gently dabbed it across Soul's almost breakable skin to wipe the red from the white, pink staining where the blood had sat for a while. He bit his lip in an attempt not to burst into tears at the sight of his friend. He opened the bottled of peroxide after he'd cleaned up what he could of the blood on Soul's skin. Carefully, Black Star just barely poured some of of the liquid over the stitched up gashes since they were still slightly open, hoping to get something in there to fight off an infection that could potentially harm his friend. White bubbles flooded the area, like the gashes were rabid animals ready to attack. Sniffling, he waited for it to die down before taking the gauze and pressing it as soft as he could against the area over the mess of white foam, thread stitches and blood that refused to stop even though it just barely leaked out now. After drying it off, he put medical suave such as Neosporin on a fresh bandage and put it back in the same spot, a line of the cream over each gash. Black Star was careful not to touch Soul's skin when he applied the tape to keep the gauze from falling away from the skin. He was scared to touch the skin.

Scared it would break, shatter into a million pieces then turn to ash.

Scared to see how cold it was.

Scared to touch the scars.

There were just so many of them. Soul's out most organ didn't even look natural any more from how many there were. Especially were Soul's bones tried to rip out of the skin. It was pulled so tightly against then from malnutrition that each one of his ribs could be counted. Though Black Star did what he had to. He was not about to let his friend be left in this condition. He picked him up and place him in the bathtub so he could clean the rest of the area. The smell of bleach was going to be hard to explain so as he poured the liquid in a sink full of water to dilute it, he tried to think of excuses to use. Occasionally he glanced back at the paled weapon that was limp in the tub. Soon he was done cleaning and he turns back to his friend. Blood was dried into his white hair and it still laced his face.

He leaned over and grabbed the handles to the bath, turning on the hot water and some of the cold so it wasn't scolding and moved Soul back away from the drain. He didn't want to have to change the bandages again. The worst part about moving Soul for Black Star wasn't the pure dead weight that was Soul's barely alive body. It was the fact that he felt he could break Soul. The bones moving against the taller male's body made him feel as if he moved even slightly wrong he could break him. It was a feeling that Black Star absolutely hated. He picked up a small pitcher that Patty used for her baths and filled it with water, carefully pouring it over the weapon's hair. The dried blood moistened and some of it slicked out of the tangled, dull white strands. After a few more times of doing this, Black Star then grabbed a shampoo bottle and began to lather his hair with it. Crimson tainted the soap and water as it ran down in small rivers. Biting his lip, the assassin rinsed out the tainted soap.

" How could you do this to yourself Soul..?" He spoke aloud in a soft voice. He wasn't really speaking to anyone, just speaking out loud to get the questions off his chest, even if they couldn't be answered right now. " To let your skin feel like... a protective armouring .. what have you BEEN through..?" He whimpered out, tears welling in his eyes. Making sure all the shampoo had dispersed from the dull strands, he turned off the water and grabbed another towel. Soul's face was like a child sleeping. Like he was just a pure little kid coming home after a hard day of playing with friends and sitting on the couch to watch cartoons but then just fell asleep. Black Star moved a few pieces of hair from Soul's face, his eye flicking over every inch of it, wondering how such a perfect beautiful face such as this could bore so many secrets and burdens. It was enough to break his heart.

He lifted him from the tub, towel in hand. He wrapped him in the clothe and picked up Soul's backpack. He glanced around the bathroom to try and see if he could spot anything that would raise suspicions. After deciding it was safe he reached for the door handle, Soul still clasped tightly in his arms with a towel around him. Black Star hesitated with his hand on the handle. What would the others say about Soul being in only a towel and the two leaving the bathroom together? What would they assume? Would they ask questions? He pushed the thoughts from his mind as his hand turned the handle until the lock clicked open. With a deep inhale, he pushed the door open.

Black Star took enough of a step out of the bathroom to glance down the hall. The others were distracted with another game luckily. Carefully and quietly, the assassin carried the weapon off to the room he was staying in for the night since there were enough rooms in the mansion for every guest and habitant to have they're own room for the night. He silently shut the door behind him with the heel of his foot. He hurried over to lay Soul down on the bed so he could search for some type of clean clothes for the boy. He removed the bag from his body and unzipped it to shuffle through the clothes in it. He grabbed the fresh pair of pyjamas for the boy. A baggy reddish long sleeved shirt and matching plaid pyjama pants along with a pair of clean boxers. Folding them out on the foot of the bed, he turned his attention to completely drying off Soul enough to put on the clothes on him. He toss the towel to the floor and grabbed the boxers, carefully pulling them up over the bandaged and damaged area on Soul's hip. It still pained the assassin to think of such wounds being inflicted on purpose. He followed the boxers with the pants and the shirt. The paled weapon's skin was still ice cold to the touch. Worried something could possible catch hold of Soul's immune system in this weakened state, he grabbed a few more blanket from the closet to add to the comforter Soul already had, then he draped all of them over the small figure. He stood back to look and see if anything else was out of place.

Deciding it was satisfying for now, he backed up to the door and opened it, slipping out like a mist or fog, flipping the light off so only the moonlight shone into the room and illuminated shapes. The assassin made his way back down to the group and apologized for taking so long and said that he and Soul had got caught up in talking about the different mission they'd been on and the Soul had decided to go to bed because he was exhausted.

" Soul looked perfectly fine before he went to the bathroom." Maka retorted. Black Star shrugged. " Maybe it was stress from the game? I don't know. Maybe he felt sick and didn't wanna say anything to ruin the night for us." Kidd looked to be in thought over the words as he analyized the way they were presented to him, as did Maka. Patty seemed to not even mentally be there a the time and Liz seemed very disinterested. Tsubaki seemed a bit worried for the weapon.

" Should we go check on him to see if he's okay..?" Tsubaki asked the group. Their potential answers were cut off by the assassin. " No, you shouldn't. He told me he didn't wanna be bothered and that he'd be fine." The others believed the lies and left the weapon alone, continuing their night of fun. Soon though, everyone retired to bed, unable to keep their eyes fully open anymore. Each person trudged back to their own rooms.

The cool night started to pass by slowly, though a certain assassin couldn't seem to force himself to sleep after what he witnessed today. He was so conflicted, unable to decided if he should keep what his friend was doing a secret, or if he should tell and get help, or even if he should just forget he ever saw it. The third option was pretty much impossible though. There was no way he was going to forget what he saw, not with what he did to cover it up. His hands were placed behind his blue haired head, his eyes fixated on the ceiling mind wandering. It was so quiet in that moment. He turned his head to glance over at the digital clock on the dresser. 2:47 A.M. Black Star let out a soft sigh as he turned back to look at the ceiling Though as he turned his head, he just barely caught the noise of a door slowly clicking closed and soften footsteps padding down the hallway by his door hurried. There were only two rooms down that way. Kidd's and Soul's. He knew that Kidd was plum out by now. Jumping to his feet, he headed to the door and ripped it open only to see a glimpse of white hair rounding the corner at the end of the hall.

Soul could hear the footsteps quickly approaching behind him so he had to hurry his own pace though, with the stitched gashes on his side, it was hard to. He could feel them wanting to rip back open, wanting to bleed more of the crimson liquid he did not deserve to hoard or waste, of which he did both. He pushed back the pain and forced his legs to make him go faster. His vision would flash white every now and then with how much pain he was in. The thumping behind him grew faster and louder. Closer and closer. Soul couldn't let them get louder. He couldn't let them get closer or faster. He reached the end of the stairs and rounded the edge quickly, backpack plastered on his back. He was most definitely ditching this party. He raced for the door, footsteps closing in on him as he desperately tried to unlock the door. "D-Damn it..!" He muttered under his breathe as the lock refused to cooperate with his shaky hands. Just as soon as he got it to click and started to pull open the door, a hand slammed it back shut near Soul's head.

Soul let out an audible gulp, much like he would when he'd swallow kishin eggs.

" Where do you think you're heading off to Soul?" He asked sternly, a trait that seemed weird for Black Star to have since he was normally so hyper and happy all the time.

" I-I uh.." Soul couldn't think of any excuse. And he couldn't just say that he was leaving with what Black Star had witnessed tonight. " I th-thought you'd be asleep.." He whispered out, trying not to sound devastatingly scared at the moment as he turned to face the other male. Black Star shook his head.

"Nope. not after what I saw." The weapon let his gaze drop to the ground, guilt, regret, fear, anger, depression, all of it welling up over his chest, feeling like it was about to crush his lungs and heart. The seconds of silence seemed to tick on forever, each one painstakingly longer than the one before. It wasn't before Black Star sharply inhaled that the weapon looked up. The other seemed to be struggling to find words to say to him. Soul bit into his bottom lip, scars were his shark teeth would constantly chew at the spots on his lips and cheeks. He was waiting for more degrading things to be said to him because he knew he deserved every single word of it.

But the assassin only managed to form one word that was better than all his questions combined. ".. Why..?" It came out soft, like he was only trying to say it to himself. Soul stared into his eyes which were firmly locked on his own crimson bloodshot ones. He had nothing to say to the Meister They were best friends, partners in crime, closer than a collar on the neck of a far too neglected dog. But he could never explain to him why he did what he did. He knew the reason himself. Now thinking that anyone would understand his reasoning? That would have been a miracle to him. Minutes passed with the other male still waiting for any sort of answer. Anything could have sufficed for him right now. He just wanted to know that it wasn't for attention or for no reason. Soul cleared his throat softly.

"..It's.. It's none of your business why I'm doing this Black Star.." he answered finally, the silence broken, question answered. It wasn't what Black Star wanted but at least it was something and not just silence anymore. The assassin hesitated a minute before nodded once slowly and pulling back away.

" You.. should stay.. I told the other that.. that you were sick so uh.. Leaving in the middle of night for a 'sick' person isn't the best thing and they'd like.. hunt you done to make sure you're okay. God I couldn't imagine what they'd do if they knew the truth.."

* * *

**Next chapter is coming up soon so please favorite, follow, and review and I'll next you next time! The SoulStar shall be coming soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Cursing**

**A/N: Finally! The long-awaited chapter five you all have been waiting for!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_" God I couldn't imagine what they'd do if they knew the truth."_

Morning came as though in a flash of seconds for two quite traumatized boys. Both Black Star and Soul received little to no sleep at all due to the hectic events of last night. Black Star could not get the images of Soul's bruised and bleeding body. His chest ached at the fact that Soul, of all people, would harm himself for an unknown reason he had yet to discover. Why is his best friend doing such an awful thing to his own already broken body. The fear in his eyes, the pale skin... His eyes darted to the serene outside of the window near the bed. to get the thought out his head. To think that all this time Soul had been doing those things behind their backs for what seemed like years. Who knows what would happen if he hadn't walked in on Soul in the current process of cutting himself. Another wave of _'why?' _swirled around in his head. If Soul would just tell him what the problem was, maybe he could help. Black Star couldn't stand to see the hurt expression of Soul face. It was very uncharacteristic of Soul, unless the whole 'cool' thing was just a setup. No, that couldn't be. Black Star was bound to figure out the truth under that façade the weapon held. The only question remaining now is if he could really get through with Sou. He wasn't the only person contemplating on last night however because Soul was not doing any better.

The weapon stressed on the fact that the loudest-mouth in their team knows his secret. He trusted Black Star not to tell anyone but he knew the other wanted to go as far as to tell everyone so he could help. But it wasn't needed. He was thankful, though, for Black Star to help clean and bandage his wounds as well as telling everybody not to check up on his. Soul could tell that the next few weeks are most certain to be cut-free because of the assassin's over-protective personality. Not even going for a walk in the night's cold breeze was allowed because of his worrying. He couldn't tell if it was a miracle or a curse that his cutting-obsession was found out. All the stressing made his fingers twitch in need to hold something sharp, the practice of sliding the sharp edge down on his tender skin and feeling the guilty-tingle that relieved him of his thoughts. Of everything. Was he going to be allowed to experience his usual routine anymore? Is it horrific that he craved those feelings even more now that he felt a bit restricted?

_*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*_

Soul blinked out of his dark thoughts just as his partner's voice spoke behind the closed door.

" Soul? If you're awake, hurry and get dressed. I'm making breakfast with Tsubaki." He could pick up the hesitation and worry in Maka's voice.

The teen slowly moved his tired, crimson eyes at the clock hovering on wall before his bed. He sighed heavily, seeing as he wasn't going to be able to sleep in his condition, and sat up before glancing down at his clothes. His muscles slightly ached from laying in an uncomfortable position and his scars and he winced when the memory of Black Star's shocked expression at seeing his wounds. If an expression like that could come across the meister's face, what good would it do when everyone else sees? But the fact that the other teen had even helped clean his wounds made him feel even more miserable. How could Black Star do that after seeing just how weak he really was? Why... did he care so much for him? The sound of footsteps brought him out of his pitying and he huffed, trying to get ahold of his mixed emotions. Time to cover up again.

**...**

It was quite rowdy in the kitchen and living room in a matter of minutes once everyone was well rested and up. After everyone made sure Soul was okay, in which he felt he wasn't at all but told the opposite, Maka and Tsubaki began to cook. Kid was chasing Patty across the halls to snatch back a candle that had completed the symmetry of a room, Liz was once again, polishing her nails while half gazing at the t.v. before, and Soul was leaned against the couch on the floor, once again, in his mind. Black Star was complaining on how he was bored, in which Liz kept telling him to shut up and dodged her partner dashing through the living room floor. Overall, this was the expected morning of the Soul Eater gang.

" Honestly, it's like life is party for you. Patty as well. You two act as though other people have more important things their lives." Liz commented while checking her ring finger for any marks. At this, Soul caught Black Star's glance at him and looked away as his heart thumped harder. Of course the meister would be reminded of him. The woman didn't notice this silent act and continued to blow her left-hand nails dry. Soul eventually made a move to stand up, his heart racing. He was stressing again and needed relief, _badly. _His nerves were rising more and more as his stomach gave uneasy turns and twists. _Now._

" I-I'm heading to the bathroom-"

" No you're not." Black Star interrupted with a piercing glare. Soul flinched at the sudden voice-over and the slight soul-shuddering gaze and Liz looked up curiously. She wondered why Black Star had an accusing stare at Soul, who seemed shaken up for some reason. What was going on between the two? It didn't have anything to do with last night's events did it?

" B-but I have to-"

" No. You. Don't." It was true. The assassin knew what Soul was planning to do and Soul figured as well. He was acting a bit harsh, yes, but for a good reason. He wanted to break Soul's habit of damaging his own body and it seemed like it's going to be a long while before his convincing could actually get through to his best friend. Soul sighed and looked down, trying to calm his nerves as the narrowed eyes forced him to sit back down. Just as he had predicted, Black Star wasn't going to allow his bullshit anymore. However, this action only made things worse. There is no way his best friend can break him out of such a habit that he has worked in his whole life. The weapon appreciated the help that Black Star was giving but that wasn't what he needed. What he needed was the comfort of seeing his blood ooze and drip from gashes that spelled out how pathetic he was. That was the kind of guilty-pleasure he taught himself to receive, something only his self could understand. There is no point in telling anyone if they don't know what he is going through.

" Breakfast is ready!" Maka called over while placing a pan down and taking off her oven mitts. Patty finally gave Kid a break and tossed the candle over carelessly before running into the dining room. Kid managed to catch the candle in time before running off to fix his 'art'. The heavy tension in the living room rose and Black Star's personality nearly switched in under a second to a light-hearted one as the three left to join the others. Liz was wondering if it was a good idea to question the two boys but decided against it anyways, planning to contemplate on the scene later. The food was soon passed around breakfast was enjoyed immensely. Well, that is, Black Star had criticized on Maka's cooking once again but didn't complain about his partner's. Soul was annoyed to no end with Maka's questioning on his health, for example, if he was sick, has a headache or anything related to him going to the doctor. The scythe ruled out all statements while simply saying he was better but his restless eyes told otherwise however his meister finally stopped questioning him. After everyone was full, (it had taken more to fill up Patty and Black Star)it was time that the others were to leave. Soul gladly left to pack all of his items and clothing articles to have the safety and private comfort of his bedroom.

Soul knew the first thing he was planning to do once he and Maka arrive back at their apartment but his heart ached at that thought. It wasn't exactly a foreign feeling since he is used to feeling shameful guilt of his actions. He could already imagined his friend's disappointed and angry expression of continuing his sinful acts behind his back. Soul couldn't understand why he felt such a way of harming himself. Usually his heart would give a leap but this time, he was contemplating on who he really was hurting more.

" I'm all packed and ready Soul." Maka spoke behind his door and slowly opened it," You ready?" Soul's eyes flickered out of the distant look before standing up with his bag.

" Y-yeah. Let's go."

The two reached the front of the mansion with Black Star and Tsubaki and said goodbye to the owners of the house. To say at the very least, it was quite fun to spend the night at such a luxurious house with their best friends. Well, for everyone except two males that are going to have a lot on their minds. Soul could feel the eyes on him, as if watching his very thoughts. The white-haired teen was very sure that he wasn't going to be trusted alone anymore by the assassin. Desperate or not, he wasn't going to let Black Star see him cut in his view at least.

" We'll see you tomorrow at school then. Take care." Kid said and the four walked out, saying their farewells. It was going to be long day for Soul and he can tell that the horde of questions Maka was holding over her head was sure to come full blast once they reached home. Hopefully, her worrying would take his mind off of his very gory thoughts of himself with a razor, a knife, a pin, _anything_. He shook his head from the very intense feelings he was getting his action going unnoticed by everyone but the blue-haired teen in his mind. The scythe let out a small miserable sigh that was picked up in the summer breeze that blew trees, grasses, and flowers gently. The tranquil scene was surly opposite of the hellish mind he has.

It was finally time for the two pairs to part ways and Soul caught the _' Do anything suspicious and I'll kill you' _look Black Star gave him and he and Maka walked back to the apartment. Despite the fact that he was slightly scared from the seemingly murderous expression, it made his heart fluttered that Black Star cared deeply for his safety. It shocked him that the other male was so worried of his self-harming obsession. A small smile crept to his face as he and Maka walked up the steps to their home, slightly dreading the thought of Blaire greeting them 'her way'. It was certainly naïve to think that he was worthless even after Black Star had tried to get it in his head that everyone was his friend but only Black Star came to mind when he thought of someone that cared for him.

_Someone actually cares for him._

* * *

**Sorry if it is a bit short but I just want opinions first on if the story is going on a pretty good flow. Sorry if my writing skill is pretty crappy but I did try hard to fit it in with A Cannibalistic Skittle's writing. Hope you enjoyed though so favorite, follow, and review and I'll see you in longer and better chapter!^^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Yaoi ahead...**

**A/N: I'm sure everyone has been actually waiting for some sparks to fly between Soul and Black Star so here it is! This chapter should be of considerable length so I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Yesterday had flown by so quickly that the day almost seemed non-existent. Already back in school and being pushed with a handful of tests from each class wasn't helping a tired Soul one bit. He felt grateful that Maka had wrote in notes for him while he had unknowingly fell asleep during DWMA History. As usual, he had a dreamless sleep and was woken up three minutes before the bell and Maka casually slipped a note-filled paper in front of him.

" You owe me dinner." She muttered with a smug look.

"*sigh* Yeah yeah, thanks." He half-mindedly muttered while sitting up straight to see everyone packing up their belongings for the free period. He hadn't seen Black Star throughout the school day so far even though Tsubaki was in school but both he and Maka figured that he was skipping to train or planning a big, surprise entrance. It's a surprise that he doesn't have detention slips up his ass yet. Soul could always see Sid's angry and annoyed expression every time Black Star was brought up. It's a mystery how he hadn't died from the assassin instead of getting hit in the forehead by a trophy. Though this crazy side of Black Star is basically how everyone sees him.

From experience, Soul knew there was a side of him that always made him feel a bit intimidated. So scary that his own soul quivers from one intense but caring look, even sometimes he felt as though the meister could stare into his soul. But Black Star has yet to prove that skill when he actually does well in a mission. Besides that, the unknown side of the meister is what actually stopped him from thinking of harming himself. Only the affect wore off and stressing on the upcoming tests has brought a new longing feeling of having his familiar razor pressed against skin.

The bell stopped the sick fantasy from continuing and Soul decided to delay his retreat for a while to clear his mind. Maka had insisted on staying with him but was silently rejected with a look her partner had gave her. Cruel much but it's either this or spilling out his secret 'activities' that have been kept from his friends for years. Guess which option is more valid in his opinion? Sid left to make more copies so he ended up alone in the quiet yet peaceful atmosphere. Soul actually appreciated this and decide to stay in until the bell rings for the next period. He didn't have the energy to think about his dark thoughts and really wanted sleep instead. Finally, his need to sleep won over and the weapon laid his head down on his arms that folded on his desk. Just a quick thirty-minute nap wouldn't' hurt a bit of course.

It was as dreamless as ever again.

...

Black Star hopped through the window of Sid's class room conveniently. Cursing silently for missing his chance to make a big scene, the meister hopped onto the top row of the seating area and looked around, catching sight of Soul napping away in a tranquil manner. It must be the free period then and the blue-haired teen didn't mind missing more than half the school day. There was always time to go make his surprise entrances in the next few classes. His eyes fell on the sleeping scythe and small smile crept to his face.

Soul looked untroubled and tranquil tthat the traumatic events from two nights ago seemed as though it was just a really bad nightmare. Soul looked quite vulnerable in that state and hurt to see Soul not as uptight as he seemed to be. Black Star came up to the slumbering male and tilted his head as he unknowingly watched the other sleep, thin air passing in and out the weapons slightly parted lips. Something tugged at the meister's heart from this scene and he gave a heavy sigh before sitting next to Soul. He couldn't bring himself to wake the white-haired boy, not when he caught a glimpse of what really goes down when Soul has privacy.

Ocean blue eyes rested on the snow white soft of hair, the spiky locks swaying with the wind that a escaped into the open window the assassin had came in through. It was if for a moment his body reacted instead of his mind and a hand slowly made it's way up to and atop the surprisingly soft hair. His fingers threaded through the spiky strands, taking in his fascination on how the scythe's hair feels. His hand then crept down lower to rest on a tender cheek. Soul somehow relaxed more in his sleep as the hand stroked his skin gently. How Soul could say how worthless and ugly he is was really beyond Black Star's knowledge and he seriously begged to differ. Maybe it hadn't came to him until now but something about Soul always triggered something within him but he couldn't catch what the signal was. After being shown accidently the scars on the pale boy's body, a huge sudden urge to protect his friend. Of what is was he intended to have Soul tell him sooner or later, but he didn't want to push the weapon into telling a personal information that is purposely kept to himself for a reason.

' The hell did I get myself into?' The meister mentally asked to himself with a sigh. Is pity even a choice for someone who always hurts himself on daily bases?

Soul's eyes fluttered and Black Star retracted his hand just as he blinked awake slowly.

" Mm... Star?"

" Hey."

Soul sat up while sleepily rubbing his eyes and looked around. Right, it is still free period. But why is Black Star sitting next to him quietly?

" Are you sick?" The weapon asked groggily while put his hand down. Black Star blinked.

" What makes you say that?"

" You're way more quiet than usual. Where have you been anyways?" Soul asked while gazing back at his desk with a clear mind.

" I just got here... training and all..."

" *sigh* Honestly..."

" I have better things to do anyways." Soul propped his had with a bent arm. He wasn't in the mood to chat since sleeping sounded like the best thing ever at the moment. He hadn't planned to wake up, to Black Star no less.

" Of course," He muttered," Why are you still here? Go annoy someone else. I kind of enjoy my solitude." The other narrowed his eyes.

" So now I'm annoying you? Says the one who's constantly trying to kill himself. Why do you think I'm here?" Soul flushed and looked down while mustering up the most defiant look he could give.

" I already said it's none of your business. Just leave."

" It is when one of my friends is hurting themselves."

Soul stood abruptly and grabbed his bag with a frustrated look.

" If you're not leaving then I will." Before he could get away, Black Star stood as well and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back more. Soul turned and tried to move his arm away but the other had a vicious grip." Let go."

" Not until you tell me why."

" It has nothing to do with you!" The blunette held his grip more as Soul tried to move again.

" I'm trying to help!"

" I don't need your help!"

" Why are you so afraid!?"

" Why do you think I'm afraid!?" Soul finally countered while trying his hardest to blink back the tears. His throat hurt and he finally stopped his resistance but he spoke again." Why do you think I kept it a secret from everyone? Having you find out is bad enough and you're making my life even more stressful! I don't even know how you are." He finished and sat back down while burying his head in his hands once his wrist was freed. Soul sulked silently and it was a while before a hand rested on his head and he looked up with shimmering eyes.

" Idiot, you're the one making it stressful," Soul looked back down as the other continued with annoyed look," You're just more stressed because you're trying to break out of... 'that' habit. It'll get better... I think." The weapon listened and slowly moved his hands down.

" But what if you can't get me to?" He dully asked and looked up again with a baffled expression when Black Star gave a big grin.

" Have you forgotten who you're talking to? Of course I can, I'm a God! Besides," The leaned down with a sudden serious look and Soul moved back slightly and flushed a little," Like it or not, you will break out of that habit."

The weapon nodded hesitantly and the meister leaned back up with the opposite demeanor. " Anyways, the bell should ring any minute, I'm gonna go... do things."

As Black Star hopped back out the window, Soul couldn't help but automatically translate that to, " I'm gonna plan a surprise entrance." Nevertheless, the teen grabbed his bag and began to make his way out of the classroom as he felt more content. He couldn't explain the pink that dusted on his cheeks, or the small smile that would not leave no matter how hard he tried. His heart was calming down from its racing that had unknowingly thumped quicker than ever when he was with Black Star. That being said, he had a lot of faith with getting over his supposed bad habit with his best friend helping him out. The urge to cut himself was thinning but not by a lot and it was sure to take a while before he finally eases himself. It is strange how his heart gave a leap every time he thought of Black Star. No matter...

_*Ding* *Dong* *Dead* *Dong*_

He planned to take Black Star up on that offer.

* * *

**Erm... I know I said it would be long but I couldn't think of how to end this chapter after that moment. Maybe I'll keep my promise with the next? Gosh, I'm horrible but the good news is that we are starting to see progress in Soul's urge NOT to cut and his and Black Star's relationship. Please favorite, follow, and review and I'll see you in the next, hopefully, longer chapter. Chow!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Warning: Cursing?

Author's Notes: I hope this chapter is of reasonable length because I kept adding in detail until it reached the 3,000 mark. I think I may have went over it though, not sure. ^^ Enjoy!

* * *

As they made their ways to the apartment, Maka occasionally glanced back at Soul with a suspicious look. She wondered why he wasn't so tired as he seemed just hours ago and a little... happy? She didn't want to pry in and ask what's got him to upbeat but it seemed that he was in his own world at the moment. She felt glad that there was at least a particular mood change in his weapon that was either tired or calm. Smiling is a pretty rare sight for her to see and it was quite fascinating to wonder who or what caused him this, considered fortunate action. But...

" Who are you thinking about?" She suddenly asked and her sly look increased when Soul blinked from his inner world.

" Wh-what?"

" I said," Maka stopped in front of her flustered weapon and put her hands on her hips," who are you thinking about?"

" Wha-no one, why?"

" Okay then... what are you thinking about?" Soul made a move to walk on the other side but she blocked his path again.

" Seriously, I'm not thinking about anything."

" Liar!" Soul jumped from the loud accusation." I noticed something going on about you, you think I don't notice."

" Because I didn't think you'd be literally on my ass all the time." He stated and sighed when his partner had once again, blocked his path. Her bugging is really making him want to...

" -Black Star." He blinked in a questioning manner in which Maka stepped forward." Liz said you and Black Star were acting strange. I also noticed what she meant as well earlier." Soul's heart began to sped in a his nerves began to run high. Oh no, had they heard their conversation that night? Black Star promised to keep it a secret though...

" I-I don't-"

" And there's no use lying since I have a witness." The scythe's heart sank. So he had told everyone? But he trusted him no to, he even promised yet...

" I'm sorry Maka I-"

" Honestly trying to hide that little secret from us. Do you know how much it hurts that my own weapon doesn't trust me? All the things you did behind everyone's backs." Eyes began to water but Soul forced himself to keep his guilt in. The sadness, the betrayal...

" I have nothing against you two dating." Soul blinked with widened eyes and looked up. Red eyes blinked once and twice from statement as he tried to process what the ash-yellow haired girl had said. Did she just accuse him of dating Black Star!? That's just... no!

" What the hel- What made you come up with such a thing!?" He finally managed to say with a flustered look. Soul felt the weight on his chest completely rise as his beating heart had calmed down. This false meaning is clearly a way of showing that Black Star had not told anyone and in fact, kept his promise. Still, he was a little miffed that Liz had the nerve of telling Maka of her opinion of him and the other meister. Maka counted off her fingers as she listed some 'evidence'.

" You guys locked yourselves in the bathroom. You practically let him take care of you. You act different around him. And just now you were pretty jolly, I'm sure you were thinking of him."

Well she's half right on the last statement.

" None of those things mean that we are dating!"

" So you admit it?"

" No! I mean," Soul huffed and tousled his hair," None of those things are true. We just talk about things that you or Liz don't need to hear about. It's sick just thinking of us like that."

" That's not what Black Star said." Maka countered with a serious look and Soul seemed a bit taken back as the two began to walk again," I also confronted him about this and he said something about worrying about you. He didn't say it specifically but I could pick up the real meaning. I'm still wondering on what you guys do behind closed doors. Talking, sure, but by the way he sounded to me, I kind of want to know as well." The weapon didn't say or do anything to respond what she had said and it was an uncomfortable silence before he finally managed to say something.

" If you already talked to him about it then why are we even talking about this?" His partner shrugged.

" I wanted to see your take on it." The two made it home and went inside. Soul set his bag down and was about to go to his room for the comfort of his bed but he was unfortunately dragged to the kitchen. " I know how long you take to cook so start now. It's around four anyway." Soul glanced regretfully at the door to his room. Well, that longing thought is going to be put on hold. Of course Maka would do this because as he was preparing dinner, she was speaking non-stop to him. He couldn't blame her because it is kind of rare that he out of his room by the time they get home because privacy is policy. Or just being rude in her terms. However, Soul listened and peeled potatoes at the same time. It was quite pleasing in the atmosphere when Blaire happened to hop through an open window, changing into a human form with the skimpiest outfit ever.

" Hi guys! How was school?" She greeted cheerfully while sitting on the counter next to Soul. Maka didn't say anything about being interrupted but decided to use her manners, something the damn cat seemed to not remember or use.

" It was fine, the usual."

" Soul~? Did you miss me?" Blaire especially asked with a cat smile at which Maka rolled her eyes to.

" Define 'miss'." He muttered and Blaire huffed at the insult but expected it anyway. Of course he was teasing...

Right?

" Oh, and I hope you don't mind but I invited everyone to go to the park sometime. Before the exams and stuff." Maka said with a smile and Soul turned towards her with a questioning look.

" Exams?" He asked and Maka rolled her eyes but continued.

" Yes, exams. After studying, which I hope you did, I thought we all should have a little stress-relieving time."

" But I thought that's what the sleep over was for." Soul said while chopping the naked potatoes in blocks.

" Well yes, but after you and Black Star decided to get it on," Soul narrowed his eyes as a glare at her but she went on with a humored look," Things didn't really go according to plan since we retired early. And I'm sure no one else wants to have a sleepover again so a walk in the park seems fine."

" What if I'm busy?" He countered with an attempt to not go. He didn't really feel like facing anyone again. Unfortunately, Maka saw this coming.

" I know you aren't and even if you are, you're still going. It's like you don't want to hang out with your own friends."

Friends.

" What if... what if I don't?"

Maka's smile altered and she tilted her head in confusion.

" Wh-what do you mean?"

It's a good thing Blaire's not here, because she isn't going to help with this sudden change in atmosphere. Soul stopped cutting but didn't look at his meister.

" I said what if I don't want to go," He finally faced her," what id I don't want to hang out with my own friends?" Maka's eyes widened and she was left speechless. Her partner gently lay the knife on the cutting board before leaving the kitchen with a blank expression. The meister only watched, still processing what Soul had said.

" What if I don't want to hang out with my own friends?"

Tsubaki looked up from boiling the rice and blinked when the phone began to ring. She dried her hands and picked up the house phone.

" Hello?"

" Hello. Tsubaki? M-May I speak to Black Star?" Maka's voice said and the raven haired girl nodded hesitantly, wondering why her friend sounded so distressed. Nevertheless she went to give the phone to her meister who busy punishing himself for missing an answer in the textbook.

" Black Star, you don't have to do that for every problem you miss. And Maka wants to speak with you." Black Star looked up from doing his 200th pull-up and dropped down.

" Why?" Tsubaki shrugged and handed the phone before leaving the meister.

" Hello? Black Star? Thank goodness. Um, I need a favor. It's about Soul."

Maka took the silence as an answer to continue and flopped on the couch while holding the side of her tilted head. She thought about asking Soul what the problem was herself but she probably wasn't going to get an answer out of him. It was a while when she had finally thought of how close Soul seemed with Black Star, the two talking about things she had yet to discover so it was possible that maybe Soul could answer him. It made her a little disappointed in her weapon for trusting another meister instead of his own. However, she was too focused and worried of how Soul interpreted his previous statement. Hopefully, Blaire is doing a good job finishing up dinner.

" H-He said something weird when I asked if he was okay with everyone going to a park," She said in a low voice to make sure she wasn't overhead," a-and I just want to know if there is anything going on with him. He usually gets along with everyone but today he said he didn't want to hang out with us. I-It might not sound like a big deal but the way he said..." Maka waited for a response from the boy but all she received was click and the dial tone. The nerve! She huffed and tossed the phone on the couch next to her with an unresolved expression. If Black Star hung up on her maybe it was unimportant or silly to consider it a problem. Maybe Soul wanted some space from everyone, though it was the way he said it... It sounded...

Maka groaned while trying to ignore her headache when a crashing sound jolted her from the seat. An angry tick formed on her head and she growled when Black Star dusted the shards of glass off him.

" What the hell were you thinking coming into the window like that!?" She exclaimed and Black Star blinked before pointing at her.

" You said there was something wrong with Soul."

Maka grabbed the broom and pan from a corner and ushered the boy away from the mess of glass pieces to sweep up. " Yes, I did. But at least have the decency of knocking on the front door. It isn't important since you hung up, remember?"

" That's why I came here." Maka stopped and looked up with a puzzled expression before frowning.

" You came here immediately after what I said? You must really be concerned over him. Something you ought to know that I don't..." She hinted Before the other meister said anything, Blaire came through the kitchen with only an apron covering her body somehow.

" Nya? Black Star came over? Well there is room for more..." She hinted with a predatory look but Black Star was already down the hall, in which the magical cat huffed," Why do boy's keep rejecting me!?"

" Hey, where you going!?" Maka called out.

" It'll take a second."

Soul jumped when his door was slammed open and was beyond baffled to see his friend walk in nonchalantly.

" Black Star? Why are you here?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and the said meister leaned against the wall parallel from his side.

" Maka said you told her something weird." He only said and Soul looked down while thinking. Saying something weird? He didn't thinking he said anything that Maka could be suspicious of unless...

" ... No, I don't think I did." The weapon finally answered but the look in his eyes told the opposite. The assassin could clearly see this and knew this conversation is going to have to be longer than he thought. That is, if Soul stopped being so denying at him, even if it is pointless since the Bluenette can see more than just what the other shows. If he wants to play this game, he'll let him. But Soul will know the consequences later.

White-haired teen gave a suspicious look when Black Star walked towards him. He's about to be pushed to answer truthfully but he isn't going to give into the damn assassin all the time.

" What did you say?"

" I-I didn't say anything." Soul denied again and clutched his bed sheets when the other sat on it.

" You're lying... again."

" I'm not. Don't make false assumptions." Soul refused to look at the other and didn't intend to open up. He hated that Maka had the nerve to call over some stupid question he had. If only he hadn't brought up such a confusing thought to his over-worrying meister. Then she wouldn't have went to drastic measures such as calling Black Star to, hopefully not, knock some sense into him." I don't even know why you came here just because of me. It's pathetic really." The weapon whispered the last part and slouched. Fortunately, Black Star had heard the unintentional phrase and Soul missed the frown." Wha-!?"

Soul blushed heavily when he was pulled against the other teen's chest. His hands moved up to push away but strong arms wrapped around his body from having any chance of leaving.

" L-Let go Black Star!" He protested but he didn't get any signs indicating that he was going to be let go any time. Soul continued to scowl but with the blush on his cheeks, it didn't make it seem as menacing. Why the hell was his best friend hugging him as if he was some poor damsel in distress!? It's bad enough that two people are now watching him like a hawk but he really didn't need this kind of attention. Soul had finally stopped straining to leave since Black Star was three times stronger than him and huffed in defeat.

What was this supposed to accomplish?

Soul clenched the other's shirt as he thought. It isn't usual for Black Star to just randomly hug him. At least give him an explanation. More so, what irritated Soul the most is that he easily became a blushing mess. If this broke him down easily, imagine what would happen if they kissed... wait...WHAT!?

" What's pathetic really, is that you think I don't care for you." Soul's eyes widened and he looked up the best he could," Do you really think you aren't worth it?" The weapon looked down and his unconsciously tighten on the fabric in between. His answer was already implanted in his skin with the words fresh to remind him everyday. However, the thought of being worthless and unaccepted started to lose it's meaning every time he thinks of his blue-haired friend. All the things he's done and said help Soul try to recover from the actions he's done behind everyone's backs.

" I-I..." Soul started and only ended up trying to speak his mind. Why is it getting harder to say that he is worthless? Is that not what he was telling himself after all he's done to carve it into his own body?

The white-haired teen leaned more onto the male's chest to listen to the beating heart. No matter how annoyed he was with how he was drawn his friend, he still felt... protected in his arms. Though, what could he say now? Black Star would only say he's lying if he did admit it.

" You really are a girl sometimes." Soul linked from his musing and glared up at the other teen.

" What?" He asked in an irritated tone but Black Star continued unfazed.

" I said you really are a girl sometimes," He repeated as if the weapon didn't hear him the first time," If I hadn't known you, I probably would have mistaken you for one." Soul scowled.

" Dick." He insulted, even more miffed when he received a chuckled at the supposedly funny insult.

" The fact that you're the one hugging me isn't helping." Soul frowned and looked down to see that indeed, he was quite into the embrace.

" Ah! I-I wasn't-" Soul tried to move away but the meister re-wrapped his arms around the weapon's torso and leaned down with a smirk.

" It's cute actually." Saying that Soul was blushing at the unexpected statement is an underestimate. His whole face was as red as a ripe tomato and he tried to speak but only incoherent words and phrases managed to come out. Soul was beyond flustered at this point and was really trying to get away because of how confused he was of his emotions. More like, how to respond with this sudden saying. Most of all, he wanted to deny that he surely isn't a girl and that it wasn't cute at all! How dare Black Star use such a feminine term for a male!?

There was a knock on the door and Soul finally managed to free himself just as Maka had opened the door with a worried look.

" Is everything okay in here? It sounded like you two were fighting." Black Star stood up with his hands behind his head and began to walk out.

" Nah. I think the princess is okay now."

" Fuck you."

Maka rolled her eyes but smiled when her partner was back to himself. It's a wonder how the air-headed assassin managed it and even more questions in her mind were in need of an answer. She'll get to those later.

Soul watched the two leave and his cheeks turned rosy again at the nick-name. Princess. What a stupid name. How did Black Star even come up with that? First he's called a girl and now a princess. Just what is that idiot getting at anyway?

And why won't his heart slow down already?

* * *

**I think that'll do for today. I hope everyone enjoyed this update, I know I had fun typing it! Please favorite, follow, review and I'll be getting to the next chapter soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Possible triggering.**

**Author's Notes: I'm sure you all have been waiting for the yaoi moment of the story right? Kind of the whole point of this. This chapter shows a few sparks flying around. That's all I'm saying for this chapter because I'm still deciding what happens for the next chapter and I don't want to spoil things for anyone who reads the A/Ns.**

**Well, I don't want to keep you all waiting. Here's chapter 8. Enjoy!^^**

* * *

" Come on Soul! Hurry up!" Maka exclaimed and jogged back to pull on her partner's arm.

" Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Soul muttered but was now being practically dragged. Over the few days, the weather hadn't been cooperating lately. There was non-stop rain and thunderstorms so of course Maka was ecstatic that this day was nice. However she was still careful because the raining usually starts after six in the evening. So right after school, Maka made everyone immediately set out for their plans. While that problem went on for those past few days, Soul has been noticing something between him and Black Star. About their friendship in this matter.

He didn't know if it was just his imagination but he noticed that they seemed a bit more closer. Sure the pair had their usual banters, joking around, and skipping a class on some days but... how should he say it..? Literally and metaphorically, they stand so close that their hands are touching. It was as if their usual routines had a meaning. A different meaning than just being friendly towards each other. Soul had yet to figure out what the meaning was.

Everyone met up at hill that gave a perfect view of the rest of Death City and the Sun trying to stay awake.

" Ah, Soul! How are you feeling?" Liz called out with a wave as the said teen sat down with an exasperated smile.

" I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." Patty flopped down and put a hand over her mouth.

" Black Star! You're boyfriend's here!" Black Star looked over with a confused look and everyone else laughed while Soul covered his burning face. He muttered some dark threats while Kid pulled out a basket.

" Okay. I prepared everything we needed for the picnic." His older partner looked at him.

" Picnic?"

" Well of course. Such a bland trip needed some sort of excitement." Maka gave an offended look as Patty and Black Star exclaimed, " Food!"

Liz shrugged and Soul sighed with an amused look. Only Kid. However, he wasn't exactly hungry and just sat back as everyone dug in. The scythe occupied himself by looking at the indeed splendid view of the city. This trip was very relaxing even with everyone's laughing and chatter and he could get used to this if coming here would be an everyday thing. Soul unknowingly gave a content sigh and leaned back on his hands to look more up at the bright orange sky. It truly was magnificent.

" Eh, Soul? You're not eating?" Black Star said as everyone else talked about how stressing the upcoming exams would be. Soul looked over and shook his head.

" I'm not hungry." He responded and looked back up at the slowly darkening sky. It was a few seconds later when the weapon jolted back to find a piece of sushi on a fork in front of his face.

" You have to eat something." Black Star said and urged the fork forward again.

" But I'm not-mm!" The piece was shoved into Soul's mouth and he had to force himself not to choke on it. Black Star gave a humored looked when Soul glared at him once he was able to breath again." I told you, I'm not-mm!" Again, a piece of sushi pushed in shuts the scythe up.

Liz noticed the scene going on between the two boys and secretly watched. It was pretty cute watching Black Star practically force food down Soul's throat All the more reason why she had assumed the two were 'too chummy'. It's still fun to tease them about it however.

Soul had finally given up on trying to defy the other teen and allowed him to feed him as if he was some child.

" I have hands you know." He muttered in-between a bite and the meister already had another sushi ready.

" I know. It's fun feeding you though."

" Wha-mm!" Now sporting a red color on his cheeks, Soul was mentally screaming 'What!?' in his mind. It was as if they were a couple or something. And that's a problem since-

" Would you look at the happy couple over there!?" Liz exclaimed and everyone looked over. Soul couldn't have been any more embarrassed as he tried to hide behind Black Star, who paid them no mind. The weapon swore to get Liz back for her teasing and blushed even more when a hand ruffled the top of his head. Of course this guy wouldn't help the matters except adding in the fuel to be teased even more. Although, despite the teasing, he was having fun at the most.

" Still hungry?" Soul flushed and pulled back with a quivering scowl.

" No!"

...

It was a small while when Soul felt a drop of rain on the side of his cheek and looked at his wrist-watch that showed the time to be around five. At this time, everyone finally decided it was time to clean up and leave tomorrow is the last school day of the week, which is the day of the exams. Everyone felt a little more confident after spending time together in which it wasn't studying until their brains collapsed. Now, all they can do is have a good night's rest and wait. Or try to get their last minute studying in and stay up all night frantically worrying about test.

After separating from Kid, Liz and Patty, the usual four were walking down the same paths home. Tsubaki had luckily brought two umbrellas, one for her and Maka to share and chat while the boys shared theirs'. Even though the rain was being shielded from above, Soul could still feel some drops of liquid blow against him from the side because of the harsh, chilly wind but he plenty warm alright. The never ending blush on his face kept him at a reasonable temperature to even his own body. Sharing an umbrella with Black Star wasn't supposed to mean for him to be flushed. It was stupid how he became so easily timid at innocent gestures and also scary that he is experiencing these foreign symptoms.

Black Star had noticed Soul's change in behavior whenever the two hung out over the time. It was like an on and off switch of when his friend blushes, and he was slightly curious on who or what the weapon thought about. He did have to admit, it was cute whenever that rosy color erupted on Soul's cheeks, or how the other gets so easily flustered. The assassin wondered if it was because of him that Soul began to act this way. He certainly did not mind if that was the case.

Their eyes met and Soul quickly looked away with the best straight face he could make. Only his face color betrayed him and Black Star couldn't help but give a small smile at that action. So it is him. This whole thing could turn out interesting but he will let Soul contemplate on it more.

After saying their goodbyes, Tsubaki and Black Star headed into their home as their friends walked ahead. Maka agreed to bring back their umbrella tomorrow. Once they were inside, Tsubaki turned to go to her room and prepare for bed but her meister stopped her.

" Hey, Tsubaki?"

" Yes Black Star?" The said teen smirked and walked ahead.

" Go ahead to school tomorrow, I'll cath up later." His weapon blinked.

" A-ah may I ask why?"

" No reason..."

" So, how was the trip? Didn't want to go huh?" Maka asked smugly and Soul tried his hardest not to acknowledge it.

" It was cool I guess."

" Just admit you had fun."

" I said it was fine. Is that answer not good enough?" Soul wittedly said while taking off his jacket. Maka put her hands on her hips in thought before a sly smile curled it's way up.

" No it isn't. And I expect that I won't be getting any more than that, huh?"

" How could you tell?" The other sarcastically said while hanging the clothing piece in the on a rack in the closet. He didn't miss the spine-shivering smile he received but didn't question it. Maka shrugged and slowly made her way to the couch.

" That's a shame. I guess I'll have Black Star persuade you. You never seem to say no to him." Soul quickly hid his burning face and adjusted his shirt that didn't really require it.

" Th-that's because I literally can't. He forces me."

" That still never stops you when it comes to me."

" Well that's too bad i-isn't it?" Before Maka could comment, her weapon had already rushed into his room and she stood there with a smile of victory. It may not have looked like it but she could tell that she had definitely won that argument. It's amusing how Soul's weakness is Black Star now, something very rare to happen to him.

Now another question came into mind:

What does Soul see in Black Star?

...

After having a quick shower, mostly to avoid Maka, Soul was back in bed getting ready to fall asleep any moment now. Thankfully, he managed to run out before she would gotten even more curious and persistent. If they were really friends, she'd respect his privacy. Honestly, even if Black Star claims that everyone cares for him, all that teasing and laughing at him sure isn't very friendly. No matter how many times Soul told them to shut up about it or at least give them a look, they always poked fun at him.

And it's all Black Star's fault. If he hadn't been so worried with him, maybe he wouldn't have to feel so self-conscious all the time. It annoyed him to no end of how the simplest actions of saying hi could lead to stupid rumors such as them dating. This wasn't the kind of attention Soul was looking forward to and he actually wished for his solitude life back. One where he isn't disrupted every five seconds to be checked on if he's cutting again. Knowing that, all this stress building up was actually making him want to. The feeling off ripping his skin apart to see some sort of crimson liquid leak out and down his feel the tingling sensation f the blade digging inside him.

Why was it so complicated whenever he thought of Black Star?

Eyes drifted towards an abandoned razor on the nightstand. How long has it been?

Why did it seem like his thoughts were more occupied, making his mind go numb?

Fingers twitch to life. They don't know...

What happened to feeling sorry for himself and feeling comforted in the corner of the bathroom? What happened to the familiar cool, sharp feeling grazing his pale skin?

Was it all just a set-up? To get a reaction out of him? Everyone... and Black Star?

Fingers grasp the cold metal handle.

It doesn't matter.

They don't know.

They don't care.

The door locks. They don't know...

It was the day of the exams and everyone were anxious to hurry and get on with the tests that awaited them. Meeting along the way, Maka and Soul caught up with Tsubaki, who claimed that Black Star was going coming later. Kid came hovering looking as delighted as ever but everyone knew he was sure to fail the test. Sure he has a very intelligent mind but his art of Symmetry is seriously going to leave a harsh impact on his test results. Liz was terrified while Patty was singing a song about giraffes. This basically clarified that absolutely no one studied. Maka huffed and looked at Soul with an exasperated look.

" Don't tell me I'm the only one that had some last-minute studying?"

" I was busy."

" Honestly, you guys..."

Their first class is with Dr. Stein and of course their exam was dissecting another exotic creature. Soul had nothing to worry about for this class, as well as everyone else and passed without a problem. Black Star managed to cause a huge commotion when he shocked the living hell out of everyone from busting in through the window. Dr. Stein was seriously considering dissecting Black Star for a change but the bell rang before that could happen. Everyone's exam began in the second period with Maka's father, Spirit. Soul, however, had a feeling that the old pervert was going to cheat certain girls into passing. Hell, since they weren't on good terms, it wouldn't be any surprise if he gets a more worse grade out of dislike.

" Nng..." At the start of the test, Soul winced when he picked up his pencil. He hadn't meant to go all out...

" What's wrong?" His partner whispers with a concerned look. Soul shook his head and concentrated on the test.

" It's nothing." He dismissed and Maka dropped the topic.

You wouldn't want to know...

After another exam, it was free period and everyone eagerly left after the tense 50 minutes of straining their brains. Soul stayed behind once again as everyone else left to happily study more for the next tests to come. It wasn't cutting out, Soul wasn't really mentally prepared for the next hours of constant writing and page flipping. However, getting Maka chopped a million times isn't what he wants to be greeted with after school so maybe nap was in order. Just for a couple minutes, then he'd take the tests and go home. What every teen dreams of during the school seasons.

...

Time passes too quick for the weapon's liking and the bell rings, making Soul tiredly blinked his eyes awake before taking in his surroundings. Yup, doing the exams isn't a nightmare and he is fully living it. Might as well make those napping minutes count.

Just as he had pulled up his bag on his shoulder, Black Star peered in.

" Oh, you're awake."

" Now I am." Soul responded while making his way towards the door. The meister noticed something off about the weapon.

" Are you alright?" The other teen stopped but waved a hand to dismiss the topic.

" I'm fine. Just the tests and all." Soul headed out and walked down the hall. Unknowingly, he was being watched.

Black Star stared wide-eyed, still frozen. When Soul had waved it off, his sleeve pulled down slightly and there were marks on his skin.

Fresh, red marks.

The thin line on his lips altered.

Why...

* * *

**I hope it didn't seem too short and rushed. I tried to add in a bit more details as much as possible. Please favorite, follow, review and I'll see you all in the next chapter! Updates are every week or less, just in case you wanted to know!^^**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Yaoi, cursing.**

**Author's Notes: The moment you all have been waiting for! The long wait has finished and you can now enjoy this story at you heart's content. Though it still is pretty dark. I hope I didn't make anyone OOC in this chapter. Or the story all together.**

**Please enjoy!^^**

* * *

Maka exhaled deeply while stretching her arms up as she and Soul walked to their last class. The halls were unusually quiet and tense instead of the loud chatting and bickering before entering next periods. The exams must have really done an impact in the students.

" Oh man! Those exams really killed me back there."

" I fail to see the difference." Maka smirked and pressed a hand against her chest.

" Well of course not. I'm confident that I did good on the exams. That's what repetitive studying does to people who actually care about their grades."

" Are you still lecturing me?" The two entered their last class with Ms. Mira. Luckily, she didn't give out exams since learning the history of DWMA is challenging enough. That is, to everyone except Maka and Ox Ford. Soul had studied after learning his lesson last time so he could only pray that he got a pretty decent score. He wasn't really aiming for the top like his partner or other smart kids do. He just wanted to pass his classes and get on with his life. A life he wished to live alone.

Black Star had mysteriously disappeared once again which is no big surprise since the bluenette doesn't do any work anyway. It comes down to question why on earth the assassin comes to school anyways to just annoy the heck out of his peers. Not everyone thought about that reasoning. Soul didn't want to think it but he had a slight suspicion that it was he who caused the bluentte's absence. He didn't know how but Soul felt as though he was at fault. Hopefully, he hadn't done anything to upset Black Star again, like the previous nights. Fortunately, that shouldn't be a possibility since he hadn't seen Soul cut yet...

_He doesn't know about that... right?_

_Of course not. He did check after all._

Soul pulled at his sleeve with an uneasy look.

* * *

After school came along slowly but at long last and everyone was eager to just kick back and relax for the weekend. That's what everyone's minds were on as they started to head down the hall of Death Torture Academy( A name many have come up with). It was no surprise to see that Kid, Liz, and Patty failed and that Maka was first again. Soul had surprisingly came in a pretty high rank, as well as Tsubaki who was taught by her meister not to be so easily tricked by things. The raven haired girl left to search for her partner, and Kid and the twin guns had patrol duty. Maka gasped and stopped Soul.

" Huh, what?" He asked when Maka dragged him back to a nearby class room.

" Shoot! I forgot my notes in a textbook. I hope it doesn't take long..." She trailed off as she ran inside. Soul sighed and leaned against the wall next to the closed door. Of course Maka would be worried about something as useless as that. However, he couldn't judge, not anymore at least, and he is patiently waiting for her to search through the countless class set of textbooks. That won't take long at long...

Soul sighed and felt his shoulders slump. Of course it would took a while. He could go ahead but years of experience disobeying his meister's commands was left imprinted quite painfully on his head plenty of times. All he could do is wait.

The sound of foot steps broke Soul from his thoughts and his stomach gave a weir flip when he found Black Star walking down the abandoned hall.

" Black Star? Tsubaki's looking for you if you wanted to... know..." Soul trailed off as the other walked to him with a blank look.

" You..." Black Star started and Soul blinked.

" I-I what?" The other teen walked up and suddenly grabbed his wrist, causing him to wince but the assassin paid no mind." Black Star..!?"

" You started cutting again!" Soul winced even more when his sleeve was yanked down to reveal the horrifying evidence. Indeed he had practically abused both his arms from the long lost feeling. He couldn't say that he had enjoyed the night since it reduced him to silent tears but his hand-work wouldn't stop. It was as if he was being controlled cut open his flesh and stare miserably at the seeping blood. He wasn't able to stitch his skin up since Maka and Blaire were up and about so he could only use the tissues as make-shift bandages.

" I-I... It was an accede-"

" Bullshit!" Soul squeezed his eyes shut when the grip on his hand tightened. Tears prickled his eyes but he didn't dare let them out to show weakness.

_You deserve this..._

" Why? Why did you start again?"

_It's all you're fault..._

" Black Star..."

_He's never going to trust you again..._

" Fucking answer me..."

_You aren't worth it..._

" I..."

_Worthless!_

Soul balled his fists." Fine. You want to know?", A tear slid down," I cut myself. I did it over and over again on both of my arms. And I deserved it. Everyone... even you... you are all the reason why I can't stand myself. I-It's all your fucking fault!" Soul clenched the front of the assassin's while bearing his sharp teeth as tears began to drip down." I hate you for trying to help! I hate you for saying everyone cared! You're just a liar, like everyone else! You are stupid for trying to help which only made me more hurt! I hope you're happy with what you did. All you've managed to do is make me... want to kill myself even more..." The weapon's shoulder's shook and he leaned forward, still holding onto the meister's shirt tight.

" ... Soul..."

" Don't. A-all you do is just make my life even harder than it has to be. All I can think about is you and I don't want to... It confuses the hell out of me yet I don't know what to do. Y-you're the reason why I feel this way," Soul opened his eyes to reveal shimmering crimson, red eyes showing distance," I just wish I knew what it was. It drives me crazy that I think of my own best friend in such a confusing way that I just... just..." His eyes narrowed," I just wish it would go away. I-I want to stop but you're in the way. Y-Yet... I want you to be close to me. I want you to help me..."

Soul felt his dry eyes begin to wet themselves again. His heart ached even more than it should have.

" Sometimes, I feel like... like nobody cares for me. That _you_ don't care about me. I was fucking stupid to not believe it as well..." He gave a shallow laugh. It was emotionless and hollow, just like his feelings." And look where that's gotten me."

_Feelings for what?_

The hallway is silent and the atmosphere is heavy. Or at least it seemed so. How long had he been ranting? How long will it take before Black Star leaves him?

Soul's eyes widened and his heart gave a leap with a hand rested on his hair lightly while the other hand held his shoulder gently. He slowly looked up with his lips parted in a questioning manner. After all he said, insulted, why was Black Star... _smiling_? The weapon wanted to give a disapproving look but he was only looking up dumbfounded at the unexpected response he got.

" *sigh* Soul..." The said teen felt the male's hand on his head move down to cup and lift his chin up with Black Star leaning down with the same smile." How many times do I have to say it..?"

Soul made a questioning sound when his head was brought closer. What was going on? Why is heart racing so fast? It feels as though it's going to explode at this rate.

" Everyone cares for you."

_Why did that phrase have a meaning now?_

Their noses brush together lightly.

" ... I care about you."

_Meaning..._

" Star.." Soul only managed to whisper when lips pressed against his as light as ever. A kind of fire lit through his entire body at the skin contact. This isn't what he expected yet he founded himself wanting to be closer than ever with Black Star. Wasn't pushing the other away his true goal? Then why are they... is he...

Soul drifted his arms up to wrap around the meister's neck, pulling himself up more and against the teen's body. Their lips pressed together more confidently Black Star titled his head to press more firmly against the weapon. His arms linked around the white-haired boy's waist as they lips slowly but passionately moved together. All their feelings poured out into the single kiss. Soul pulled back for air and panted as he leaned against the meister's broad chest. What did this mean for the two? It's obvious the two liked each other in a way but how had that conclusion even came up? It was stupid joke earlier but now...

" I'm so... confused." He managed to get out and the weapon received lips against his in response for the second time. This kiss sent more obvious feelings love between each other. It was so clear to the scythe but so new at the same time that he is experiencing these feelings. He felt so...

_Loved?_

A tongue pressed on his lips for an entrance, and Soul hesitantly parted them. An accidental moan erupted from the male's throat and Black Star felt a jolt of energy. Did Soul's sound just... turn him on? His tongue eagerly explored the other's mouth, learning new sensitive spots until it reached Soul's tongue. A gentle and shy tongue swirled and tasted each other, passing saliva back and forth. Soul leaned even more if possible into the other while holding onto the broad shoulders. His face was red of embarrassment that he was so into the kiss but the arms holding him against the warm body and their tongues hotly playing with each other was completely mind fuzzing. He finally pulled back for air, letting the thread of saliva connecting their tongues thin and part. Their soft panting filled the air after the wonderful make-out session.

" U-Um Black Star? A-are we..?" Soul hesitantly asked as the blush on his face darkened and he tried to hide his flushed face. He wanted to know the truth. If he really was loved by his best friend.

" What do you think?" Soul looked up before giving a humored smile and silently laughed. Their actions said more than enough of how they felt for each other instead. That already the answer he needed.

The sound of the door opening made Soul shoot out his thoughts and the assassin's arms as Maka came out with a sly smile. In which, Soul's stomach dropped. Why, because-

" I heard everything~."

**That.**

* * *

**Yay! Happy times! Chapter ten might be the last chapter, with a lemon I promise, and then that will be the end of sharp secrets! Yaaay! I hope you all enjoyed the story and made it this far. So please, if you haven't, favorite, follow, review and I'll see you in the last chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Rating: M**

**Chapter Warning: Yaoi, cursing and lemon.( Technically not a warning since everyone was waiting for this.)**

**Author's Notes: This chapter should be longer than the last one for sure. My goal is to make the word count at least more that 2,000 words because who doesn't love a nice, long fluffy and smutty last chapter of a story?**

**Well, I don't want to keep you waiting as per usual so go on and read this and I'll see you at the bottom! Enjoy!^^**

* * *

" You will tell me when, where and how!" Liz exclaimed furiously at the two sweating boys. Soul and Black Star hadn't really expected anyone to be persistent and it was quite surprising actually that even Kid had went to the measures of locking the doors. After a week of keeping their newfound relationship a secret(They made sure to shut Maka up for that long), Maka had 'accidently' let it slip and now all of their friends were on them like a lion on it's prey. It was shocking that even Tsubaki had a demanding look on her once kind-hearted face.

" Oh jeez..." Soul muttered and knew he couldn't get out of this one. Kid had made sure to lock the doors of his mansion. How had a friendly visit between them suddenly turn into a life-or-death situation involving his and Black Star's relationship. Some friends they are...

_And that is everyone's crazy way of showing that they care._

" Come on already! Spit out the details!" Patty urged.

" Why do those 'details' matter? We're dating, that's it." Soul said and sighed when Liz viciously shook his shoulders as if he was a madman.

" Because it's crucial! W-we have to make sure you guys are compatible... and that this w-won't affect missions-"

" Now you're just making things up as you go along!"

As Liz and Patty annoyed him, Tsubaki was asking Black Star nicely but her tone deeply read_ 'If you don't answer I'll kill you.'_

Before Black Star could go off boasting, Soul stopped him before things got out of hand. The last thing he needed was everyone questioning about why he cut himself. He and Black Star definitely made Maka swear to never speak of his cutting to a soul. However, this didn't mean that Maka didn't switch her motherly indicts to twice it's affect and Soul really felt the need to move into a different apartment. Never had he felt so watched or questioned over and over in his life and he felt as though his meister was now joking around.

" Guys, we have to go." Soul hinted with a raised eyebrow and Liz covered her curled lips behind a slender hand.

" Oh of course. After all, it is Soul-_chan's_ birthday. He must be expecting Black Star's _present_." Soul blushed at the statement and complained about the way she said his name as Black Star slowly smirked. Everyone had came to celebrate the scythe's birthday in Kid's mansion. He purposely didn't buy a gift since he had another thing in mind. It seemed as though everyone had the same sly look and Soul had never felt so intimidated by the looks. Just what were they getting at?

" Aw, poor innocent Soul doesn't know what's in store for him."

" He had it _coming_ sooner or later."

" Definitely quite the_ fill_."

" Hopefully he won't_ pray too loud_."

" What the hell are you guys talking about already!?" Soul exclaimed while feeling even more scared. He hated fact that he was being left out on something that seemed to be an old language everyone used. If only they would stop teasing him for once." I wish you guys would just fill me in for once!" This comment made everyone freeze before snickering, Tsuabki had a slight blush on her cheeks as she tried to contain her laughter. Soul raised an eyebrow. What had he said to make everyone laugh? He'll never understand these fools!

" Come on Soul. I'll definitely _fill you_ later."

" Finally." As the two left, Soul heard everyone burst out laughing, even Black Star snickered and the scythe elbowed him. Of course,, even his new boy friend would tease him like that. He really hated it when he felt ganged up on.

Once the two reached Soul's house, Soul sat down on the couch. He was wondering on what kind of gift he was going to get that Black Star said was a secret. The weapon wondered if it was something big or maybe a pet. Those possibilities could be reasonable and he didn't mind getting maybe a puppy or something else but when he'l have time to take care of it is the question. Soul furrowed his eyebrows.

Why is he thinking that he is getting a puppy?

The weapon stood up after his musing.

" So what was it that everyone was talking about?" Soul asked as he followed Black Star into his bedroom.

" That. It's better if I just show you." Soul shrugged and blinked when the meister kissed him so suddenly. He slowly recovered and leaned into the kiss. He was still wondering on what his present was. Soul felt himself being backed onto the bed and he fell backwards on it, Black Star above him in process. His beating heart thumped harder when their kissing became more wet and passionate. The same jolts of energy surged through his body with each suck of their tongues. The weapon unconsciously arched up slightly when a hand lightly stroked his torso.

Soul moaned in their open-mouth kiss wrapped his arms loosely around Black Star's neck. His body gradually heated more and more and felt relieved when Black Star had unknowingly took off his jacket and tossed it somewhere. However the assassin's touches are the reason why he continuing to grow hotter and hotter in more than one place. Soul leaned his head back and whimpered when the meister's hands traveled up and under his shirt.

...

LEMON STARTS HERE

...

Black Star moved down more and kissed the scythe's neck, tasting the smooth peach skin. As his hands worked the moaning male's nipples, he sucked and nibbled the nape of the teen's neck. All the sounds he received instantly went straight to his groin.

" A-ah... Aahn..." Soul really didn't know what he does to him.

Soul bared his teeth and shivered when a wet appendage licked the wound that was created. Well, there is another reason to wear his jacket now. He felt his shirt being lifted up and looked down with a blush when Black Star took in a nub. The scythe's moan became at a slightly higher pitch, and he threaded his hands through the assassin's surprisingly soft, blue hair. He arched and twitched within every suck and bite, pinch and tug, and accidentally grinded against the other. Slowly losing his self-control, Black Star leaned up and tugged the other's shirt off.

Soul panted, and looked up slightly dazed before pouting and tugging at his boyfriend's shirt.

" Hey, it's not fair that I'm the only one being stripped." He complained childishly. Black Star gave an amused look but complied to the complaint. Soul blushed heavily when a ripped torso came into view. Plenty of times Black Star had claimed to have a body of a God, in which everyone rolled their eyes at, even Soul too. But here, the weapon was truly speechless. Yeah, Black Star wasn't kidding at all. He does have body of a God.

" Like you what you see?" A husky whisper against Soul's ear made him flush hard from his thoughts. The white-haired teen had a sharp intake of breath when he felt a hand dip into to the hem of his jeans and press against his crotch. He shivered and bucked his hips up to feel more of the pleasurous contact.

" B-Black Star! Oh..."

Smirking to himself, Black Star slipped off the moaning teen's pants and spotted the wet patch on the surface of the white boxers. Looks like Soul was really enjoying the teasing touches and it would be a shame if he came before they got to real part of his present. Soul glanced down to see his underwear being pulled down and pressed his legs together timidly. He was nervous on what they were about to do. He was partially excited but scared at the same time. Plus it seemed like Black Star had sensed his emotions because he leaned down and stroked his thigh.

" First time?" Soul slowly nodded and shivered when the scars on his legs were brushed upon. Black Star leaned down more and licked the other's ear while purposely tracing the scythe's sensitive cuts. He'll really make sure for Soul to enjoy this. Once he felt Soul's leg muscles weaken, he gently parted them and looked down. The weapon bit his bottom lip from the attention 'down there' and made a surprised sound when his member was grasped.

" O-Oh God... Ah!" Soul shuddered and moaned when his penis was slowly massaged and a hand prevented his hips from moving. His breathing quickened and he felt waves of heat pool into his stomach within every tug. He grasped the sheets of the bed and continued to whine and gasp.

Black Star felt the pleasure surge through his body and stopped pleasing the other teen. He was definitely done with the teasing and really needed to get on with it. He didn't how much longer he was going to last at this rate.

Soul watched with glazed eyes when his partner grabbed the lotion on his night stand.

" What are you doing?" He asked while sitting up on his elbows. Black Star didn't answer but instead told him to spread his legs more. Soul blushed but did as he was told. He let out a yelp when a finger pressed against the opening of his anus and the cool substance shocked him." Wh-why are you-!?"

" I'm preparing you." Black Star said as if it was the most common thing in the world. Soul winced when his finger pushed in and his muscles immediately clamped to get the intruder out.

" Wha-? I-It feels weird..."

Soul tilted his head back and whimpered when the finger finally made it's way in and a second one was already pushing into the tight passage. His legs twitched to close again but the meister made sure to hold a thigh far from the other and scissored his two fingers inside. Soul let out a sound of discomfort and shook when a cold third finger forced itself in halfway through.

" U-Ugn... O-ow..."

" You're suffocating my fingers."

" Who's fault do you think it is?" Soul snapped and yelped when all three fingers were inside of him and began to stretch his hole. Black Star then thrusted his fingers along with the stretching to ease his partner more and smirked when Soul suddenly moaned loud. He knew what that was.

Soul moaned again and pushed against the appendages as his sweet spot was continuously brushed. His legs shook with each touch and Soul willingly spread his legs more. This made Black Star take his fingers out instantly and ignore the disappointed whine. Oh, did he have something else to fill that hole up again. The scythe looked down with lustful eyes that the assassin could not deny and Soul felt something hard and wet press against his entrance.

The Blunenette leaned down on his elbows and gave Soul a butterfly kiss as he slowly began to enter. His lover already tensed and he lifted Soul's leg up more while urging the boy to loosen up. Soul squeezed his eyes shut in the process and held onto the other male's biceps. He was trying but jeez was he big! His sharp teeth left imprints on his lip when only half of the member was inside. The white-haired teen felt Black Star pul out slightly, before shoving in all the way until their skin touch.

" Ow! F-fuck..." Soul yelled and whimpered as his body shook and tried to adjust to the length. He panted before feeling his mouth being covered by the other's and he allowed their tongues to play together. The dull pain in his lower abdomen was lessened and Soul moved slightly to test the theory. He received a grunt from his boyfriend and Soul smirked when their lips parted away from each other. He didn't get any warnings when Black Star pulled out and thrusted in again.

" Ah! Ah... Ha..."

" Heh..."

Soul let small hesitant sounds escape from his mouth as he was penetrated and moved his head back. Black Star attacked his neck again and Soul moved his hands up to the boy's shoulders as his sounds gradually became louder with each thrust. The meister moved his hips quicker and bit down into the supple skin once again, making sure to create a very visible hickey. His lover cried out and spread his legs out more than ever and arch against his body. Soul's moaning wasn't being held in anymore and he finally let them out.

" Fu-! Star! Ahn... God!" Black Star felt every moan increase his speed and the arms around his shoulders tighten. God, Soul's sounds were like music to his ears. Soul yelled when his prostate was hit dead on and moved back against the slick cock thrusting viciously in and out of his body. Electrifying tingles bursted in his stomach with each hit and the bed began to rock along with their movement. The weapon begged louder to be filled faster and Black Star leaned up, having enough of it.

He lifted the scythe's legs and pushed in more deeply, letting the pleasuring sounds the other make his thrusting more satisfying. Soul clenched the sheets and bent his back more as the thrusting became more sloppy and wet. He felt his pre-cum slick his inner thighs and the contacts of their pelvises were more sticky. All in all, he was in heaven. the weapon's sounds were higher pitched and Black Star could sense the teen's end nearing. He wasn't going to let it end yet.

Soul blinked when the fulfilling member pulled out of his anus and in a second, he was on his stomach with his face shoved into the pillow.

" Black Star..?" His muffled voice questioned and he felt a blanket cover them both. The familiar hard member pressed against his wet, winking hole and Soul felt the other embrace him from behind. The white-haired teen moaned into the pillow when he was filled quickly and the fast pace was back. " Agn... Oh... a-ah!"

Soul lifted his hips up more and shuddered when his prostate was found once again. He pushed back against Black Star's thrusting and parted his legs more for the other gain better access. A hand grabbed his waist, and Soul was forced to move back against the thrusting faster. He moaned when their movements met in the middle and saliva pooled out the weapon's parted lips as he balled his fists. The pleasure was overriding and his own hard member rubbing against the bed sheets was sending more of the toe-curling feeling into his groin.

" Ah! Star! I-I'm..! I- o-oh!"

Black Star leaned down so his chest was against Soul's back and began to grind hard into the tight passage. He grit his teeth with his eyes squeezed shut as he felt himself no longer in control. He deeply pounded the teen's sweet spot brutally and Soul bent his calves up with each grind. He could feel his orgasm nearing and he groaned along with Soul's watery sounds and Soul suddenly tensed.

" I-I'm..! Ugn..! Aaah!"

The scythe moaned loudly and his eyes rolled up as he came in a shuddering mess on the bed and all over his stomach and chest. The muscles squeezing around his cock was too much for Black Star, and he squirted his seeds hard and deep in the contracting passage. The two desperately gasped for air as sweat rolled down their bodies.

...

LEMON ENDS HERE

...

After a while, the meister finally lifted himself off the breathless teen under him and re-wrapped his arms around Soul. Soon, the weapon had finally regained control of his breath and heard the other already deep in his sleep.

Before he could follow the suit, Soul caught a glimpse of his dry-bloodied razor on the night-stand. His red eyes stared blankly before he stretched his arm forward to shove it off the surface and into a trash can.

The cause of his despair...

He sighed and leaned more into his lover's arms with a content smile before closing his eyes to be pulled into a deep slumber.

No need for that anymore...

...

So, how was it? I thought I did pretty good with the lemon, kinda my second time writing one, and I feel like writing more for Lemony Harmony.

Pfft, thank you to those three who favorited and followed this story. To be honest, I couldn't be any more happy because I actually had people to please with this story. I hope to do better with any other future stories so I guess allI can ask is for anyone to review the last chapter. I know I had fun finishing out any of my other Soul Eater fics if you want more Black Star x Soul.

Chow!^^


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: Naah...**

**Author's Notes: Yes yes, I am continuing Sharp Secr****ets because I believe the last chapter did not conclude Soul's cutting problem. Think of this as a sequel connected in the same story.^^**

**Enjoy please!**

* * *

Soul blinked his eyes awake and barely registered that it was the early morning hours. His distant look viewed the room before he realized that someone was sleeping with him. What happened? And just like a switch, events of yesterday awoke him entirely and Soul was glad his blush couldn't be seen. He had in fact, enjoyed last night with creating a new bond with his new lover, Black Star. Sighing contently, he leaned more into the embrace as he listened to the birds chirp outside his curtain-closed window, blocking out any unessiccary sunlight. Unfortunately, he and Black Star would have to get up soon because it was a school day. And like any other student, they dreaded it in preference to sleeping all day long.

Still, at least he had something to look forward to now...

Soul turned around so he was facing Black Star and looked at the assassin't sleeping face. It was all because of Black Star, the world's possible biggest idiot, that he no longer had the cutting desires he once did. Even if Black Star still didn't know why he cut himself, the meister glaldly helped and now here they are in bed together.

A small smile crept to his face.

" Stubborn idiot..." Soul muttered but leaned up to press his smile against Black Star's. It really is amazing, Black Star's abilities that is. Despite his self-destructing tendency being long gone, a new worry crept it's way into his mind. He pulled back.

Should he tell him?

Soul had trusted Black Star far enough to take his virginity and nothing bad ever happened since they became a couple. Could he bring himself to tell about the horrors of his past? Does he even have the courage to? He knows that sooner or later, the meister would bring up the question. It's a matter of if he is ready to tell him. The weapon watched as Black Star began to stir and he couldn't help but roll his eyes as the other blinked owlishly.

" ... Soul..? Why are you-?" Just like Soul, Black Star had remembered last night's events and he sat up abruptly." Oh crap! Did we really-!?"

" It's fine. Come back down, it's getting cold." When the other hesitantly complied, Soul exhaled deeply and rested his head on the nape of the teen's shoulder." We're already dating, remember?"

" We... are? Oh yeah, your right!"

" *sigh*." After a week of dating, Black Star is still waking up with an empty-head. Hopefully, this doesn't become a regular schedule.

It was a while when Soul finally decided it was time to get up, however he couldn't because the strong grip around his torso said otherwise.

" We have school today."

" Mm. I don't mind being an hour late."

" Well I mind."

" And I don't." To prove his point, Black Star rolled them over so Soul was underneath him with wide, red eyes.

" H-Hey! What are you-Mm..." Already, Black Star had shut him up by capturing his lips in a kiss and trapping his body in between his arms. Soul was defiant, but in the end, gave up trying to push the other off and let an eager tongue slip in between his lips. He pulled his lover down more for a deeper contact and his face was just as heated as their kiss.

" Mm-hah..." Soul finally turned his head for air, moaning slightly when a sensual grind contacted between his legs." A-agn... We shouldn't..." He trailed off when Black Star held his waist.

" We can afford an hour."

" But..."

* * *

Maka looked up, along with her friends to finally see Black Star and Soul walking over. The heavy blush on the scythe's face didn't go unnoticed by everyone and the slight limp he had instantly gave them a clear idea of what happened.

" What took you guys so long?" Liz asked and Soul pursed his lips.

" U-uh just Black Star... holding me up."

" I wasn't holding you up. You were on the bed m-" Soul quickly covered the teen's mouth and tried his hardest not to acknowledge the familiar snigger of Maka.

" Sounds like you two had quite the wake up call. Should I bother with the questions?" With an embarrassed blush once more, Soul shook his head just as arms wrapped around his waist in securely.

" It'll probably take all afternoon for full details. Right, Soul?" Black Star said with a perverse grin, earning an ineffective swat from the other. The others laughed and the bell for lunch to end rang.

" We'll let you guys enjoy your honey-moon now." Maka stated while standing up, ignoring the dead-panned look she received from Soul." Your lucky, next week is the last week of school and then you guys could have the times you want for yourselves."

" We're not some married couple, it's only been three days." Soul pointed out and tried to get of Black Star's hold but failed." Besides, not all relationships go well. We could end up breaking things off and I bet I wouldn't be harassed so much by everyone." While Liz laughed along with Patty, Kid blinked in surprised and Maka cocked her head.

" I doubt that would work."

" Why-" The possessive hold around him tightened and Soul instantly knew why." O-oh..."

" As I was saying, enjoy your honeymoon." After Maka had the last laugh, they began to make their ways to their next period. Soul winced in every step and Black Star _finally_ noticed that maybe going three rounds was a bit too much.

" Does it hurt?" He asked and Soul slowly looked at him with a miserable look.

" What do you think?" The weapon responded coldly and the meister rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

" Ehe. Sorry 'bout that. I could carry you." He offered and Soul flinched. He didn't want to imagine what the student population would think of death scythe held closely in an assassin's arms.

" N-No thanks. I'm fine."

" You're limping."

" Thanks for pointing out the obvious but I can manage." After Soul had stated this, it was only a few seconds when the scythe found himself in Black Star's arms. He stuttered and flushed greatly since he and his friends are still walking down the halls. Where everyone could see.

" P-put me down. I already said I'm-" The bluenette leaned his head down so their faces were merely inches apart. Soul swallowed when the other was glaring at him with such a serious expression.

" Last time you said you were fine, you weren't." Black Star said in a low voice. Soul felt a bit intimidated and his grip on the teen's shirt tightened," So shut up and let me help you."

The weapon shivered slightly and looked down with shaking eyes. What the meister said is true but he hated feeling like he was a helpless girl or something. He didn't like depending so much on someone, or never really experienced that until now. It was new to him that he now had someone that cared so much as to scare him a little. Even Maka couldn't compare to this.

It still isn't a good enough reason to tell him...

* * *

" Well, everyone officially knows." Liz stated with a grin. After school, the two boys had never received so many cat-calls and best wishes to their new 'engagement'. Soul had to hid himself behind Black Star every time this happened since the color of his cheeks were out of control." You guys were exceptionally popular today."

" I wish people would just mind their own business." Soul groaned and slipped his hand into Black Star's. He and his friends were walking from the cafe after hanging out there after school. They were all heading home when Liz brought this matter up and everyone could not help but agree.

" I'm fine with it. More attention for me anyway." Black Star pointed out and Soul gave him a dead-pan look while everyone else laughed again. The weapon was going to yank his hand out the other's but a peck on his cheek made him reluctantly reconsider.

" I see what they are saying though. You both make a cute couple." Maka said, long away from reading her book." Such an odd pair, however. The chemistry between you two and your soul wavelengths were definately opposite of each other. Who knew that you guys hit it off in just a week?"

" Yeah, what made you guys start dating?" Liz asked and Soul nervously looked down. He didn't like the topic of their discussion since it could end up leading to how Black Star helped him stop his cutting obsession. Only he, Black Star, and Maka knew about it. He especially did not want to tell anyone else yet, or ever because he was afraid of how they would react. Maka is now beyond overprotective when he is just holding a butter knife and Black Star is beyond scary if he ever gains so much as a hint of the reopening of any scar. Imagine four more people knowing about his self destructing tendency.

" That's a secret." Black Star only said and winked at Soul, who flushed but smiled in a relieved manner.

" Eeh!? No fair."

" Tell us."

As they continued to complain and Patty hopped around angrily, Black Star and Teubaki had to part from the group. The meister leaned down and kissed the white-haired weapon, who weakly pushed him away with an embarrassed look. Trust the blue-haired idiot to do it in front of all their friends. Friends that tend to not keep quiet about anything.

" We'll see you guys tomorrow then." Maka said while she and Soul waved. Once the pair left, the four of them returned to walking. Kid had patrol duties so Liz and Patty had decided to walk with the two for a while before heading back to the mansion.

" Hey, hey Soul. Have you ever considered blowing Black Star?" Patty asked excitedly and Maka's and Liz's faces instantly reddened while Soul blinked.

" Blow? Blow him where?"

" No, no. Blow. As in..." Patty made an 'O' shape with her hand and moved it toward her mouth, puffing out her cheek by her tongue as well. Soul blinked again before blushing furiously.

" What the-? The hell is wrong with you!?"

The girl laughed maniacally and Maka had to jog to keep up with her weapon.

" You should consider it." She suggested," According to several researches done, scientists have proved that sexually stimulating your partner by oral sex can-"

" What kind of books are you reading!?"

After they made it home, Soul flopped on the couch with an irritated look. Once again, the teasing happened. However, it wasn't as bad as the ones about him being carried by Black Star. His face was probably as hot as the surface of the sun at that time.

" What would you like to eat?" Soul looked up and sighed.

" Maka. You are cooking for the sixth time this week. We are supposed to be alternating." The meister gave guilty look before putting on a defiant one.

" Wh-why can't I? I just like cooking."

" You always try to skip on your days claiming that you have a stomach ache." He said and Maka looked down.

" W-Well then I'm making up for those days."

" ... You don't trust me in the kitchen, do you?" He simply stated and stood up. His partner had a full-on guilty look, meaning that he had been right. He appreciated that she cared so much about his safety, but there is a limit of what she can do. Going so far as to not even trust him to make anything just builds up pity instead of worry, and he knew that Maka was afraid of that.

" It's... It's not that! I'm just..."

" Well?"

" ... Aw, I'm worried Soul." She said and sighed." No matter what I do, I just can't help but feel terrible. I was so stupid to not notice anything wrong before a-and... We were all stupid and I'm sorry. I really am."

" It's alright-"

" No it's not." She interrupted and collapsed in a chair." I just wish there was something we could do. You were suffering so much and we didn't know... None of us even bothered to pay attention. I wouldn't even forgive myself if I were you." Soul raised his eyebrows in surprise before exhaling exasperately.

" It's nobody's fault. I'm the one who was trying to hide it from you guys. Of course you wouldn't know and I didn't exactly plan on telling anyone. If anything, I should be thanking you. Giving up on cutting isn't easy."

Maka was still brooding and Soul walked over into the kitchen with a roll of his eyes.

" There is something you could do," his partner looked up," I'm cooking today and tomorrow and you won't be so overprotective." Maka's eyes widened and she stood in shock.

" B-but-!" Soul shook his head and the girl reluctantly stood still." Oh alright. But just be careful."

...

" When am I not?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Chapter Warning: The usual swearing and what not.**

**Author's Notes: Congratulations to those that made it this far! Such a dark story is not good for the innocent so as a reward, I may put in another lemon. Or two. Or six.(Just kidding.)**

**Enjoy!^^**

* * *

"Soul, wake up." A voice said. Soul only paid no mind to the owner of the voice and turned on his side. There was a shuffle of movement before he felt something nearly take away his breath.

"Hey! Get up! I haven't got all day!" The white-haired teen desperately gasped for air under a body and clenched the bed sheets.

"Get... the hell off... Black Star..." He managed to see and the person above him voiced his amazement.

"Woah. On your first try?"

"Please... get off..." Seeing that he was now suffocating the poor boy, Black Star got off and pulled the blanket away from the panting boy.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Go... away..." Black Star crawled on top of the tired teen and grinned.

"Can't. I'm responsible for your safety." Soul furrowed his eyebrows and pushed at his boyfriend's shoulders.

"What are you talking about? Why are you here?" He asked and got a soft kiss on the cheek in response.

"Just babysitting. Maka had to go somewhere and she asked me to watch you."

"Babysit me for what? I'm sixteen!" Soul exclaimed while trying to sit up and glared at the assassin. However, a certain look from Black Star and Soul huffed while collapsing back on the bed. Of course _that_ would be the reason. She is still worried over him despite their conversation last night.

"Stupid Maka. Worrying over nothing..."

"Well I'm here so obviously there is no point in worrying." Soul wanted to hit Black Star for the corny statement but his face was showered with chaste kisses all over his face. Despite his rejections, Soul found it nice that Black Star showed his affection for him.

"Ngh! Get off."

"Can't. I don't feel like it now." Soul scowled at him.

"Idiot! You can't just keep deciding things on your own!"

"And you can't either. So stay in bed with me." With that, Black Star leaned down and pressed his lips against Soul's. The weapon reluctantly kissed back but he was hurting in his lower abdomen too much to go all the way. It seemed that the assassin noticed too, because he parted their lips and pulled the blanket back.

"...I couldn't sleep much anyways so you'll have to make room."

"Huh? Why is that?" Soul asked as he rested his head on Black Star's chest. The meister looked away before closing his eyes and shrugging.

"Just stayed up late. That's all." Soul did not question the teen and sighed. He wondered if it had anything to do with him and his previous cutting habits but did not voice this. He knew not to expect Maka and Black Star to forget his troubled ways so easily but a small part of him guiltly wished that his secret had never got out.

* * *

The sound of the alarm woke both teens up and Soul tiredly looked at the clock.

"Shoot... It's past noon. I should eat..." He muttered to himself before sitting up and slamming his fist on the snooze button.

"I'm gonna go eat, Black Star. I can't get back to sleep since you nearly suffocated me."

"Eat later. Stay now." The weapon rolled his eyes.

"You are actually depriving me of my health? Let go."

"... I'll bring it then."

"Like hell you will!" Soul had a strange feeling that the apartment would be at risk if Black Star manages to step one foot in the kitchen. "Look, I can get it myself. You and Maka don't need to worry so much."

"Well I can't help but worry." Black Star said with a shrug. "I just found out that you cut yourself two weeks ago when you've been doing it for years. Who wouldn't worry?" Soul flushed and lowered his fist before he could hit the other teen.

"Like I said, I'm fine. Lord knows how scary you can be..."

"Good. So what do you wanna eat?"

"You're not making anything. Period." He added and his boyfriend pouted. The scythe ignored him and sat on the edge of the bed with a thoughtful look. "... Hey Black Star."

Black Star blinked. "Yeah?"

"I... never mind."

"Soul-"

"I'll be back." Soul quickly left before he could be grabbed and questioned. He might as well keep his mouth shut. But for long until he chooses the wrong path again?


End file.
